18 June 2008

Tuxedo Cat

Wednesday 2:03am 18June08

Ah! We're a day away from the end of Mercury Retrograde. The last few days have been filled with communications issues galore! At least I know, so it keeps me calm. But some people who don't know seem to suffer from broken record syndrome, going on and on about the same thing. Maybe if I say the same thing again, I'll get different results. Maybe if I say the same thing again, I'll get different results. Maybe if I say the same thing again, I'll get different results. Yeah buddy, good luck with that action!

I had a contractor do just that yesterday at work. I actually started to sing while he was saying the same thing he'd said about 8 times. I told him that it didn't matter how many times he repeated the same old story the answer hadn't changed but to no avail. So there I was resorting to the la la la song that siblings sing to eachother when they get tired of listening. Okay so I didn't sing the la la la song because I had music playing. But I did sing the song that was playing, so it was close. ha ha! Where's my brother when you need him?

I finally had to send an email to the tenant, and the contractor's boss requesting that they kindly explain to contractor dude that in property management there are certain rules about accessing a tenant's space without permission. It has to be a life threatening emergency or something pertaining to damaging the building. I also mentioned that "shooting the messenger" didn't change that fact. Contractor dude came back to my office rather meek and mild but still proceeded to explain his frustration to me one more gain because clearly I have no grasp of the English language and must be told yet again. zzz!

When I rule the world, we'll be able to take off Mercury Retrograde, I'm just saying!

Okay so my friend called Gatsby a tuxedo cat. I thought she just meant that he was high class. It seems that no there is actually a term for the two colored black cat! Who knew!


16 June 2008

We are all Teachers

Monday 8:27pmn 16June08

"I love you and I do what I feel is intelligent and kind and it may not match your request, but as a loving human being those are going to be my standards. I'm not going to sell my soul out, my life out, my self love and respect out to please another human being. That makes me a terrible teacher. We're all teachers and we teach through the way that we live. There's no teaching more powerful than that. If I live a lie, I teach a lie. I teach it to others and I teach it to myself. " Byron Katie

I decided to listen to another podcast while I was eating my dinner and taking a break from writing. I chose to listen to an episode of Conversations with Masters who is hosted by Life Coach, Mary Allen. Holy Cow! I think I found something to replace television once and for all! Of course that's because I decided to listen to Byron Katie first.

I've mentioned her once before in a previous post and everytime I read something about her work or listen to her doing her work, my brain clicks right into it and I have these great AHA moments! On the podcast episode which was from 2007 she talks to a woman who is having disagreements with her mother, as daughters will do, and Byron Katie discusses stuff about love. The above quote is part of the discussion.

How many times have we been convinced to do something we don't want to do, in the name of loving someone? How many times have we spoken up and said, "I don't want to do this," and the person understands or doesn't understand and we've chosen what we wanted, not what they wanted? I've done it but only after years of doing what the other person wants. I admit to it, I've been a people pleaser when it comes to people I love. But all I did was teach them how to disregard what I wanted (because if you guilt trip me enough, I'll give in) and push until they got what they wanted. Wow! Did I really type that? It's what fed into my depression so I might as well be honest about it and stare it down. It was the depression that ultimately made me less of a people pleaser with friends, family and ultimately the men that have come into my life and are continuing to come into my life.

Of course I've mentioned it here about a zillion times but spending Christmas on my own was a big challenge of not hurting anyone's feelings but ultimately it became about me being happy. It is a big example for me because it was such a hard road of accepting invitations out of gratitude and loving my friends and yet never being happy on the day. And more recently my best-friend in Montreal mentioned that I'd need to spend another Christmas with he and his family and when I'd explained that I love spending it on my own he said, "But you can't spend EVERY Christmas alone!" Yes! I can! Until I don't want to anymore.

Byron Katie gives this great example about her new husband telling her several years ago that, despite her having three grown kids and grandkids, he had never been around kids and he wasn't particularly interested in going to family reunions. She said she loved him for being honest, loving and kind. He didn't tell her that she couldn't go, he told her that he wasn't interested in going. So she planned reunions without her husband. She enjoyed the time she had to focus more on her children. She didn't focus on her husband who wasn't interested in being there for that event. It was fabulous if he went or fabulous if he didn't go. A few years later he decided that he was ready and told her, "I'd like to go to the family reunion."

Could you imagine? She describes him as, "an honest human being who knows what he wants and has a willingness to change it, but in his own time."

It's like having best girlfriends who meet the big significant other and then insist that the only time you get to spend with them is with the significant other in tow. You don't always want to do that even if you like the guy. But that kind of honesty can often alter a friendship forever but it could be because so many of us have the attitude that love means, "if you love me, you'll do what I want." That's not love.

I can do what you want for a long time, sometimes years, but eventually I will leave you and so abruptly that you can't figure out where the heck that came from. What happened? Where did she go? Where did I go indeed...

I've been trying my darndest to keep myself being myself as I get to know this man that I find attractive. As I may have mentioned before I often turn interests into plain friendships but if the truth be known with this one, I saw him first and continue to see him as a very attractive man. Friendship, Schmenship! Wow! I typed that too! I've become the giddy girl with giddy girl breathless excitement when he comes around. I repeat friendship, schmenship...

I'm happy to say that despite the giddy girl behaviour that I have been myself. I've used swear words in my discussions. I've said my wacky ideas that come to my head. I've complained about things. I've been honest about aspects of my situation/ environment... And attractive giddy girl inducing man will either like me or not and that's fabulous. Because if he decides he's not interested he won't be interested in me, not some girl that I thought he would be attracted to.

And when I see him again each day, as I do, I will keep more of Byron Katie's words in my head:
"We meet someone and then we turn into the person we think they want us to be. We say what we think they want to hear. We do what we think they want us to do. We become puppets, a facade. We become who we think they want us to be and we haven't even included them in it. We haven't asked them is this what you want. We just assume. Eventually when they do care for us or love us, or tell us that they love us, we don't believe them because they love someone that doesn't exist and we know that. Winning someone's love cannot be done. I cannot manipulate you into loving me."


15 June 2008

Women On Top Quotes

Sunday 3:08pm 15June08

I've been collecting quotes from the Women on Top show that have inspired me:

Erica Courtney
"The seemingly bad things that happen to us along the way turn out to be the best things that coould have happened." Cary Menard - Erica Courtney's partner.

Betsey Johnson
"Try and find something you like to do and try and have a nice day with it because those days will add up to your life."

Amy Smilovic
"That's something that my dad was so big on growing up was just love what you do no matter what because you'll always be happy and it's so true you, you have to love what you do everyday."

Maureen Kelly
"It's that slow burn when you just feel like you're going to the same thing everyday but you're not happy."

"If you want to do something and it's something you always wanted to do, you should just do it."

"You've got to keep it in perspective. You do have to draw a line and at the end of the day have a great life. If no, what have you accomplished in life if you're just good at your job."

Sarah Brown, beauty director of Vogue said about Maureen Kelly:
"(Maureen said,) ' I can't find it anywhere I'm going to make it.' And she is just the kind of girl who went out and made it. All of us dream but not all of us go out and do what we say we're going to do."

Scott McDonough, Maureen Kelly's husband:
"Success is important but it's not at all costs."

Anne Marie Kelly, Maureen Kelly's mother:
"She just never gave up."

Jaye Hersh
"It's harder than you can ever believe, there are no short cuts, and if you pay attention you can do whatever you want to do."

One of the things I liked hearing about Linda Perry is that she is a self-taught musician. I get people who are self-taught. I get the drive and the passion, etc.
Any how her quotes:

"This isn't the life I was meant to live." She said when she ultimately gave up her addictions and focused her energy.

"My goal is to be the best that I can be and if I can help other people be the best that they can be on my way to this goal then that would be whoa, double whammy, I can get two for the price of one."

Deborah Lippman's stepping stone to singing is being a celebrity manucurist and creating her own line! Talk about taking a detour on the way to your dreams. It's reassuring that it could happen. She became a manucurist by day and lounge singer by night.

She went to New York in her mid 30's as a single woman to further her singing aspirations and fell into becoming the celebrity manucurist with an empire. The things that happen on the way to your dreams. It's such a wonderful reminder when you feel like you are off track that you can be off course for years and years and then be at your destination. I need all the hope I can get.

Her quote from Cher, "You should never do my nails again. Why aren't you singing? What are you afraid of?"

Her friend, Loretta Munoz said to her, "stop talking about it and just do it. I want to hear you sing."

Her mother would always remind her that she was in New York to be a singer, despite all the great things that were happening with her manucurist career (She did George Clooney's nails!). Nice!


Support U - Life Purpose Statement

Sunday 2:02pm 15June08

Today’s podcast (Episode 3) from Dr. Eric Maisel is on Life Purpose Statements
His podcast is Purpose-Centred Life - A Plan for Authentic Living. His podcasts and others can be found at Personal Life Media

I have to admit that he tests my belief in how you can find inspiration and/or something you can use from all angles and beliefs. I cringe everytime he mentions that he is an atheist but in the same breath I hear him offer something meaningful or something I can use and it brings up the question that I heard or read once, "Do you know what kind of person wrote that cook book you use? Does it matter?"

So I have to ask repeatedly, does it matter that he is an atheist? Not really. He offers some thought provoking work. And as always, I take what I can use and leave the rest. But I thought I should mention it in case you decide to check out his podcast and think, "What the heck? The guy's an atheist and you go into all your issues about whatever."

The torrential downpour begins outside and I chuckle at how, if I hadn't made myself sit down and work on my weekly Support U promise to myself that I'd be standing in the middle of the distillery district with my wet clothes clinging to me like band-aids.

Anyhow, Eric Maisel callse them life purpose statements I know them as mission statements. I think they are pretty much the same.

He discusses his 5 steps for a Creative life as:
1 - Decide to matter
2 - you must make meaning
3 - Identify your life purpose and articulate your life purpose statement
4 - Hold the intention to fulfill your life purposes
5 - Passionately act to fulfill your life purposes

For number 3 - identify and articulate your life purpose, he has you ask, What are my life purposes? (know, articulate, memorize, & believe in them). What are your reasons for living? What roles do you intend to play in life? Those roles have to be about the stuff that's big enough to count, like fighting against injustice or eradicating poverty.

Then he gives the 5 components for your life purposes:
1 - Make use of your talents/ gifts/ abilities.
2 - Do so every day
3 - Do so in the service of truth telling and other important values
4 - Get satisfaction out of life
5 - Get satisfaction through love and work

and from all of the above make a Life Purpose Statement.

What I really like the thought of is choosing the roles I intend to play in life. I know most of the people like myself who identify themselves as caretakers often say so grudgingly. I certainly do. It can be exhausting being a caretaker to grown ups but when I take that natural disposition and target it somewhere else like on animals or children it's something that warms my heart. As most people know about me, if I could have an animal sanctuary I would! I'd be way too happy knee deep in animal shit knowing that I saved another animal's life and improved its quality of life. What's a little shit? Or even a lot? ha ha!

Clearly that's something that needs to go in my Life Purpose Statement.

What are my reasons for living? For me responsibility has always been another value that has cropped up. As I mature (will I ever really?) I see that not everything has to be my responsibility nor does what someone else says should be my responsibility. So the question I want to ask is, what will I choose to be responsible for? I neither have the motivation and stamina nor the financial abundance to save the world but to be responsible for my little patch of the earth. That's an idea I can work with. Because, of course, if we all took care of our little patch of the earth, giving, sharing, loving (and those who can go further than that actually do) -- we could heal the world in a day.


Support U - Unlimited Thinking

Sunday 12:42pm 15June08

"Unlimited thinking lets you experience in advance the feelings you will have when you have received the abundance you want, and these feelings are the vehicle that brings abundance to you." Pg 8. Creating Money (Keys to Abundance) by Sanaya Roman and Duane Packer.

That quote made me think about being a child and looking through the toy section of the catalogue for Eaton's. All those little dreams my brother and I had for Christmas and Birthday presents. Those dreams of having roomfuls of toys. Those dreams of having everything we always wanted. It never quite happened that way, not even close but boy, were we ever thrilled when we got one of the toys we'd been dreaming about for weeks on end. Children are well-versed at abundant thinking. It's as natural as breathing. Somehow with the disappointments in growing up and others constantly telling us why we can't always have what we want, we stop the daydreaming and fantasizing and turn to worrying instead. Someone said that, "Worrying is negative creating."

I like thinking of worrying that way because it helps me to stop worrying about every little thing. Aside from worrying being a habit, I find I've used it as a reverse psychology thing. That silent agreement that maybe if I worry enough then I'll get the good things I want by default. You know, the cosmos or God or whatever energy is out there will help me anyway. And I have received many good things that way but it's certainly a stressful way to go about it. I'd much rather believe in a supportive universe. I sleep better that way.

I like the thought of tapping into my childlike belief in possibilities, that if you want it and focus on it, you're going to get it.
It certainly doesn't add any extra stress in my world and it gives me something to smile about.

"Live out your dreams in your mind; picture or feel yourself getting what you want; hear the words you will say to others and they to you when your dreams come true. Make your imaginings so real that they feel possible to create rather than like wishful and distant fantasies. Allow yourself to create a vision, to daydream and fantasize, and then focus each day on the simple, concrete steps you can take to reach your goal. There will always be practical steps you can take immediately to get there. " Pg 11. Creating Money (Keys to Abundance) by Sanaya Roman & Duane Packer.


10 June 2008

Til Debt Do Us Part

I forget to give links to my new money guru! The thought occurred to me as I sat on my mat to do my morning practice. And I remembered once I was done!

Her name is Gail Vaz Oxlade

and she has a blog... Gail’s Blog

hmm, and I've started using the money jars which are calculated once you fill out Gail's Interactive Budget Worksheet


p.s. have you noticed I've actually been putting the links within my posts? That's one step for blogkind and one leap for Shelleykind! ha ha. In otherwords, I'm a little less lazy!
Woo hoo!

Support U - Meaning Investments

Tuesday 5:06am 10June08

"How do we determine what constitutes the right use of our time, mind and inner resources?" Eric Maisel

Today's Purpose Centred Life podcast was about Meaning Investments. Gosh I'm a woman that likes a good title! I like the thought of Meaning investments. Where do I want to make my meaning investments?

I certainly don't want to make it with watching too much television. My friend Lolo noticed since coming back from South Korea that she was watching television almost in a viewing frenzy. She couldn't figure out, at first, why she couldn't get away from the television. Until it dawned on her that when one show ends the next show begins without any commercials in between. "What happened to the commercials in between each show?" It's like we've been set up to continue to watch and not be able to walk away once we've watched the show we wanted to watch. You catch the teaser for the next show and get hooked in so much that you have to see what's going to happen. "I kept telling myself that I'd watch this one show and then the next show would start and I had to watch that show too!" She told me.

I got into this whole conspiracy theory with her about how we're suckered into doing things that we don't necessarily want to do but we can't seem to stop ourselves because the messages are so in our faces. Watch one show and waste the day watching a bunch of other shows you didn't mean to watch. Buy all these objects because they will make us feel better, look better, give us some imaginary acceptance. Get a mortgage on some overly big house to show that we are successes. Buy the latest clothes and be like the celebrities, never be caught dead in the same outfit twice. Oh and diet! Starve yourself, fast, do whatever it takes to be super skinny no matter the cost. We all know that we need to eat and exercise to get in shape but haven't you at one time considered not eating or eating just a little to get the results quicker? Thankfully I love food too much to get on that merry go round.

I've been catching the show Til Debt Do Us Part, since it comes on after Women on Top. (Catching this show I didn't plan on watching, isn't lost on me!) It's scary the debt people are in and the houses and cars and cottages they have that they can't afford to have. It really gives me a perspective on why I buy things and what I need and don't need. The thing that amazes most of the people that are helped on the show is their mindless purchasing. It also makes me think about mine as well.

Where do I want to make my meaning investments? It's a question I need to ask myself daily for awhile and link it to a supportive universe. I've been having a hard time getting up in the morning and then I'm rushing to get everything done including a good Kundalini Yoga practice. I find I'm going to work a little mad at myself because just as I'm getting deep into the practice, I've got to get up and get going. It was bugging me so much that I decided that I would add doing it at night before going to bed, something I hadn't added yet because I was too caught up in doing time wasting stuff rather than the stuff that has meaning to me. What a difference it has made. I do the stretches, a set and a chant and conk out almost immediately. I sleep right through the night without interruption (other than Gatsby deciding that 2am is give sleeping person affection time) and I'm ready to get out of bed at 4am without pressing the snooze button until 6:30am.

It's a small step to making change in my life and identifying and subsequently investing in what means something to me... Meaning investments.


08 June 2008

Living By Kaizen

Sunday 8Jun08 3:02pm

An article that I was going to post on my writing blog that also applies here. The full article by Jennifer Lawler is on her webpage. Her article is called Seeking Perfectioin: What it is...and isn't but I have a soft spot for Living by Kaizen, since I don't do any martial arts, I like the thought of applying the concept to life as a whole.

My favorite quotes from Jennifer's article are:

... in the martial arts, you train because you are a warrior. That’s what warriors do. And they do it because they’re warriors. That’s the only reason they have to have.

The idea of training just to train, of doing something for its own sake, is called kaizen in Japanese martial arts. It’s related to – although independent of – the concept of bushido, which is the ideal of the warrior, the way the warrior lives. Making kaizen and bushido a part of my life has been an ongoing experiment – and experience. Like most of us, I constantly struggle to balance all the demands on my time and the expectations – spoken and unspoken – that people (including me) have for me. But I am aided by my belief that the way of mastery will guide me in the direction I need to go, and I never stray from the path for very long or very far.

...living by kaizen creates a life filled with pleasure, validation that comes from within (and doesn’t depend on outside sources subject to whims), a life that feels more fulfilling and rewarding.

Moving towards perfection means deciding to care for your body as well as you can today, and then tomorrow and then the next day. It is about the process, not the end result. Each day, the attempt should feel good. You got enough rest for once; you meditated after work and that helped you feel relaxed; you had fresh-squeezed orange juice for breakfast and that felt nourishing. You’re taking care of yourself. It doesn’t matter if you ever fit into that size four. That is not the point.

Moving towards perfection requires

Living mindfully
Slowing down

Support U - Women On Top

Sunday 8June08 1:16pm

My new favorite show is, Women on Top.
I caught one episode purely by accident, as is my norm. It's a half hour show that comes on Monday to Friday at 7am and gives a quick and dirty biography of a successful woman.

Most recently I watched the episode on Jeannette Walls (Interview w/ typos) , a gossip columnist whose parents were basically homeless her entire childhood. She pulls herself up for success but lives in constant paranoia that if everyone finds out about her she'll be ruined. It's funny how when we come from certain situations that we automatically feel that if others knew about us they'd abandon us.

My favorite nugget so far came from April Barton, hairstylist extraordinaire. She said, "the Universe was always siding with me and giving me perks to make it through." Her back story was of a gambling dad who married her very rich mother and lost all their money. He then ran off kidnapping April who didn't see her mother from the time she was 8 years old until she was 15 years old.

The Universe was always siding with me and giving me perks to make it through.

And it's true. For the longest time looking back on my childhood that quote rang true for me. Even though I didn't have that specific wording.

With all the violence, chaos and turmoil, there was always an adult who took me under his or her wing and spent quality time with me. A friend of my mother, Giselle, who would take me out for lunch at a restaurant in the Alexis Nihon Plaza in downtown Montreal. Real meals like chicken and ribs, not the shitty fast food 'meals'. I would talk about things that interested me and she would smile and listen, never once telling me that I shouldn't dream this or want that.

Another female friend who got me to come out of my shell and voice what upset me within my family home, the unfair treatment of me, She told me regularly that I was her favorite of the girls (me and my stepsisters). I needed to be some body's favorite because I felt like I was in the way.

The man who I was raised to call Uncle Milton, who would come into my bedroom at night and sit on the edge of my bed and tell me/ remind me that I didn't have to live the kind of life that my mother was living. I didn't have to attaract a man who beat me. This was usually while my step father was in the living room yelling at my mother and telling her why she was worthless. Milton who would start to cry when ever I got mad at him during my teenage years. Milton who smiled at me with awe when I started to fight my step father. Because he knew and I knew that part of the reason why I started to stand up for myself was because of those late nights that he told me that I didn't have to and wasn't going to be that abused woman.

Imagine a man going into a 10 year old girls bedroom at night. The first thought is sexual abuse. Isn't that so sad? Today he could never do that and it was part of what saved me.

There are other adults who saved me. Adults who told me in words and actions that I was a valuable worthwhile little girl who they'd happily have as their own daughter. Did I mention that none of them had children? They were adults who recognized that the light was going out in my eyes and they kept the tiny flame glowing.

That whole supportive universe thing keeps popping up for me. It seems to be the big message for me lately. When I take a moment to slow down even for a half second I can find a message to remind me that I'm meant to be here just as much as anyone else. I'm entitled to the space that I take up on earth just like that rich guy or that beautiful woman or my boss or my friends.

There are things in life that will beat me down and there are messages from the Universe to remind me to stand up straight. That's what April Barton's quote means to me.


Another quote from April Barton, "Be who you are when you need to be, not when the public says it's okay."

Support U - Making Meaning

Sunday 8June08 12:45pm

The nugget today comes from Dr. Eric Maisel.
His podcast is Purpose-Centred Life - A Plan for Authentic Living. His podcasts and others can be found at Personal Life Media.

It's funny that it's so in keeping with Gemini energy and the mind. Everything comes back to our thoughts and how we choose to think about life/ situations and the meanings we decide to have about life/situations. I notice that the main words are about choice and deciding. It's always a challenge because information is being thrown at us from every angle. I think I've hit a level of negative information overload personally. I recognize that I need to balance the negative information with positive information.

I go to work and my single co-worker is always ready with a negative perspective on the most innocent conversation. Talk about fruit and he'll bring up some study that tells you if you eat too much fruit you're going to die. We're all going to die! Turn on the television and can you find more shows that are about crimes? I realize that I need to do a crime show fast. No more crime shows. It gets to the point where I either worry that some crime will be committed against me or maybe I should just stay in my house all the time. We all have that chance that a crime could be committed against us and we all have that chance that it won't. We have a 50/50 chance about anything that life has to offer. Why attract the worst side of the 50/50 chance with our negative thoughts?

I want to commit to taking responsibility for the life I've been given. I want to be more open to confiding in the people who care about me. Filling my mind with inspiration and believing that I can have what I want. I'm well-versed at getting what I don't want.

It brings me back to a previous post that we live in a supportive universe. It supports the thoughts and beliefs we have with physical representations of them. And it could be another meaning for Support U... Supportive Universe.


Support U

Sunday 8June08 12:05pm

In my reading of others blogs and emails and the like I came across The Happiness Project. Gretchen (pretty lady) has spent a year (probably more by now) test driving every tip, principle, theory, and scientific study pertaining to happiness. What a cool idea and not all that far from my idea that I've had for several years to read as many personal development books and listen to tapes/CD's and now podcasts and watch positive television shows. I've done it haphazardly. But to commit to it? Not quite.

The main reason I got that idea was the realization that I have to do daily work in order to sabotage depression. The daily work is like taking the anti-depressant medication without the side effects. I hear they can be brutal.

It's the habit. We all find success by doing the work daily. Everything is daily.

Support U is the title I came up with for my personal project. I like the double meaning. Imagine if there were a university program that was all about supporting yourself... that would be Support U.

I'm not sure what kind of commitment I should offer as far as blogging is concerned. Probably the best for me is to commit to once a month and any other entries will be bonus entries. Because I'll probably post entries frequently but the project is really for myself so any entries that are too personal to post, I won't be posting. You never know how many of those there will be in a row. I do have my moments.

I'll offer links to any and everything I find on the net. And I'd like to cover a book from beginning to end throwing down some sweet nuggets that I find in it. Of course I say that now and tomorrow (hmm no June 30th - no more Mercury Retrograde) I will meet and fall in love with the man of my dreams, win the lottery (about $19million dollars), and move out of the Country.
tee hee hee!

So that's my personal project and I'll let you know what's going on, if you're still reading. And if you find anything of interest, that falls in line, comment on the blog for all the other three readers.

And just in case you don't bother to look at her website/blog, although, why wouldn't you? Here's the JK Rowling link to the commencement speech she gave at Harvard about failure. Very cool!


A Month? Gemini and June Energies

Sunday 8June08 11:03am
Wow it's been a month since I've been here last! No excuses. It's been 50% of good and 50% of a pain in the ass. Isn't that always the way? I've had big bouts of laziness and the odd spurts of motivation and I'm always challenged with finding my way through it all.

I've spent most of my time focused on my little kitten Gatsby, the pisces heartbreaker. He keeps me amused and gives me a loving, grateful focus which if you know anything about me, you know it's needed. What seemed like a crazy idea to most, adding a 4th cat to the fold, was a stroke of genius. Watching a kitten discover his surroundings and get excited over a crumpled piece of paper and other silliness reminds me to attempt to do the same thing in my life. Life is supposed to be an adventure, right?

Gemini is all about the mind. Has your mind been going a mile a minute? My mind has been all over the place but the thrilling thing is that I've had that Gemini level of detachment so the little annoyances haven't been quite as all consuming as they can be. Praise God! We're in the middle of office renovations at work during a Mercury Retrograde. Can you spell laughter?

I have to laugh because I'd lose my mind. Nothing is quite like the shop drawings that I had a hand in approving. The workers come in during the day and cause much disruption. Jackhammers are dead to me! I've breathed in more dust than any one person should ever inhale. I've gone home with headaches and sore shoulders from the tension. I can't open my desk drawers and sit at my desk at the same time. And what was going to be about a week of renovations has now gone into week three. We have a private pool betting on which month it will be complete and how many difficiencies will still be hanging over our heads. As much as possible I remain detached.

In keeping with the communication issues of Merc, people have been coming to me asking for help and when I try to give my help they proceed to interrupt me to tell me how much they know in keeping with the help they've requested. Oh, so you know how to do this then, you don't need my help? If it's my area of expertise and you call me for help, why must you insist that you actually know more than I do? I didn't call you. *sigh* Remain detached!

So I write notes in my handbook. I write about the peculiarities of others. I write descriptions for possible characters because we all know these kinds of people and sometimes (very rarely though, right?) we are those people ourselves. I feel like I'm making productive use of what could drive me crazy if I thought about it too much.

And back to Gemini, not that I left it. It took me forever to get the summary of all the previous New Millenium Being newsletters sorted through. Ahh in a year I'll have one done for each sign so next year I'll be more timely! The main points offered from Guru Rattana over the years have been to:
- Maintain a neutral mind,
- tune into your breath by slowing it down and breathing deeply,
- alternate nostril breathing
- train ourselves to listen - first to ourselves and then to others,
And in her most current newsletter she recommends for June:
1 - to not take yourself or every minute detail in life so seriously
2 - to make it your priority to uplift others and spread joy
3 - to make people and yourself laugh
4 - to change negative conversations into heart-felt connection
5 - to perfect our sense of humor.

Hmm! And Mecury is retrograde until June 19th, which means the direct energies don't really take effect until around the 24th or 25th. I'm giving it to the 26th to be on the safe side. ha ha!

I realized the other day that I got my cat Zoe, who died in November, during a Mercury Retrograde. Every thing that I was told about her turned out to be not what I'd expected. The ironic thing was that I had second thoughts about taking her because it was Mercury Retrograde but I'd talked myself out of the Second thoughts saying, "what could go wrong it's just a cat?" What could go wrong indeed. Sometimes I feel like a wacko when i discuss Mercury Retrograde except luckily I have enough friends who also believe in the strange energy to make me feel less wack-otic (my new word!) So I say believe it or don't believe it but keep a watchful eye out, regardless.

Rev. Sheri Kozdron whose podcast Angel moments by Angel Messenger I listen to gave me some keywords/thoughts for June.
Gemini - information, reclaiming our mind, how our thoughts affect us.
Focus on love, generousity, peace and forgiveness
Sagittarius Full Moon - Our search for meaning.

And here are some links to the people I've mentioned:

New Millenium Being Archives Scroll down to the archives. Subscibe to the list, it's worth it! Guru Rattana gives so much free information that you can spend years reading it all, which I have. It's what finally got me into Kundalini Yoga. I'm proud to say that I have finally bought 4 of her books.

Angel Messenger Rev Sheri Kozdron has both a podcast and a blog.

Starchild also offers energies to focus on, use, notice for each month.