27 December 2006

Something to Start 2007 With

Wednesday 11:18am 27Dec06

We're in the home stretch of the end of the year. Some of us have plans, some of us are still holding out for "the plans" and some of us haven't got a clue but we're all thinking about what 2007 will bring. A new love, a new job, prosperity, another chance at making a whole year the year. Here is a nice message that I received in my email this morning that is perfect to share...
Click the title to see Carrie Hart's website. She also has magnificent meditations that I happened to purchase.
May all your wishes come true in 2007!


Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Quado Daily Portion

Meet Your Team for 2007

Today, I would like you to meet the team that is going to support you in 2007. I would like you to meet Love, Courage, Peace and Faith, to invite them in to be your lifetime companions. To enter your life and abide there, within you, part of your being, ever a part of your thoughts and actions, an integral part of who you are.

Picture them now. Great, white and glowing with power, a golden light encircling each one, a light that comes from within, so bright and powerful that fear and doubt cannot survive in their presence.

You may picture them as powerful winged angels, strong and glowing. You may picture them as knights, galloping in, silver armor flashing, swords ready to defeat the darkness. You may picture them as great balls of golden energy. Whatever form you wish them to take, they will take. Whatever powers you feel they need to have to finally defeat the last bits of fear and doubt within you, you may give them.

See them before you. Feel yourself open to their presence. Invite them in now.

First open your heart, wide and wider. Invite Love to enter and fill your heart completely. Feel the glow, the warmth, as all the ice melts, as all the hardness softens, as the cracks and fissures mend. Your heart is glowing with love. It is nothing but love. It is love completely.

Now open your heart even wider and allow Courage to take up residence alongside Love. See what a wonderful team they make, Love and Courage, allowing you to take on anything and everything, confident and daring, yet still feeling safe and secure.

And now, open your mind and invite Faith to enter. Invite the light of Faith to shine there so brightly, that doubt is instantly dissolved. It cannot sustain in the bright glow of faith. Your belief is absolute. You believe in yourself and all that you can accomplish and you believe also in the help that is there for you. Your mind is on your side, willing to support the actions that Love and Courage are now yearning for. They are all working together as your team.

And now, open your center and let it fill with Peace, like a deep and endless pool of water. This pool of Peace will allow you to come down and reach your personal truth, no matter what is happening, no matter what you are feeling or anyone else is saying. It will allow you to make your decisions and choices freely, from a deep sense of knowing.

And now, for a moment, just glow within the presence of these four, Love, Courage, Faith and Peace, filling you from head to toe, lighting your life, giving you the absolute power to be the fullest and best expression of yourself that you could possibly be, shining with the glory that is you.

And now, feel how a fifth presence is forming. It is Joy, for Joy is naturally formed wherever Love, Courage, Faith and Peace abide. Joy cannot stay away when her friends are all present. And Joy surrounds you now and is within you and without you, lifting your energies higher and higher.

And now they are all with you: your team for 2007. How blessed you are!

Here is a little prayer for today

I open my heart and invite Love and Courage to enter, to live within me every day, all day, filling me with their glow.

I open my mind and fill it with Faith, a bright glow ever present, a part of every decision I make. My belief in myself and the help that is there for me is absolute.

I open my center and fill it with Peace, a deep pool of Peace that allows me to reach my truth, always clear, always there in a deep knowing.

And now, I invite Joy to fill me from head to toe, forming my perfect team for the rest of my life. Love, Courage, Faith, Peace and Joy. This is what my life is made of. This is who I am. I glow from this energy, this presence. I am brought fully home to myself.

I am love. I am courage. I am faith and peace. I am joy. I am.


18 December 2006

30 Day Challenge

Monday 7:46pm 18Dec06

I'm the challenge Queen. I love competing against myself. When I was a little girl and the slowest eater in the house I used to pretend that I was on a tv show and the audience was watching me eat my dinner. I would get myself to eat quicker because I knew the audience was cheering me on. ha ha!

At one crappy job I used to work at, I used to play games like seeing how long I could go without looking at the clock. Or timing myself at how fast I could get through one account and then try to do the next account even quicker.

I love writing challenges like timed writings and novels in a month and writing 1000 words a day. It's the kid in me that still lives in her imagination with her two best friends, Me, myself and I. So while digging around the internet for inspiration I happened upon Steve Pavlina's 30 days to Success (click the 30 Day Challenge title for the article.)

I've been thinking about what my first 30 day challenge could be. This morning as I crawled out of bed at half past 6 I happened upon my first challenge. Getting my butt up at 4am like I used to do. I've been very very bad and have been enjoying sleep more and quite frankly it's been months since I got up at 4am on a regular basis. So that's where I begin... starting tomorrow. Yes crazy girlfish will be getting up at 4am on Christmas day!

On my writing2live blog, I discussed going forward with Mastering a Skill (my writing, of course). I quoted it here in one of my morning prayers entries.. it takes 1000 hours to become competent; 5000 hours to master a skill and 25,000 ro 35,000 to become World Class. Calculating it down to a weekly quota brings it to 21 hours a week. If I want to get any where near completing my 1000 hours in a year I've got to rise with the birds. It's such a beautiful time of the day.

I'm hoping the 30 day stint will create that daily habit again and I can move forward with another 30day challenge. Any body want to send me their 30 day challenge? Let's forget about New Year's resolutions, I never make them cuz I know they don't work, and jump onto a challenge instead...

I just counted the days, 30 days will take me to 17Jan07...


17 December 2006

Act Your Age, not your shoe size...

4:43pm Sunday 17Dec06

Had much music on for a hot minute this morning while I got ready to go out to meet my breakfast buddy. I'm sitting there staring at the TV with my head cocked to one side, "is that Prince singing? Why hasn't anyone told me he has a song in Happy Feet? I've got to see it TODAY!"

I saw Happy Feet. What an adorable movie. If there are any stuffed animals of Mumble as a baby, somebody please buy me one!

Talk about the theme of Free Spirit. A penguin that dances in a clan of penguins that sing!. Too freaking cute. The tapping kept making me think about Gregory Hines, whom I loved loved loved! Turns out it was choreographed by Savion Glover who totally deserves the Gregory Hines' title of king of tap.

I remember Savion as a kid in Greg's movie Tap (that nobody went to see) that had all the black old timers of tap and dance like the Nicholas brothers before they all died off. Challenge! Challenge!
Savion looked like he could be Gregory Hines' kid.

When the Happy Feet started off with the penguins singing Kiss I thought I was going to burst a gut with laughter. I kept saying, Oh no they didn't, oh no they didn't. And using Queen's, somebody to love was just priceless. My Ally Macbeal inspired theme song.

I loved the themes: you have to believe in yourself even when you are different from every one in your clan. The outsider is the one to lead. You have to get through all the pain and lack of belief before you reap the rewards.

I was pretty positive that the movie was going to make me cry but I managed to hold it together.

OMG some of the head moves when they were dancing were killing me. Crack me right up.

It really makes you think about what we are doing to the animals that live on this earth with us. It's too ironic because I just watched an episode of men in trees and there was a comment about throwing off the balance of the ecosystem. It falls in line with Happy Feet. It really is time that we all think about what we are doing and how to correct it individually and giving the message to our children as young as possible so that they are mindful and ready to make creative changes.

The scene in the zoo is heart breaking and reminds me of the art show that was in New York that I would have loved to have gone to. It was a photo exhibit whereby the photographer had gone into each animal's habitat and photographed them. There was a comment that animals that we see in the zoo have basically gone crazy. They don't do the normal things that they would do. They are bored, depressed. They've gone crazy. That polar bear that does the repetitive diving into the water and swimming back up to the top, although he looks fascinating, is exhibiting his insanity. If we don't care about creatures that can't tell us that we are hurting them how the hell are we supposed to listen to and care about each other?

That's the first sign of abuse and abusive behaviour. When the Humane society notes animal abuse in a home it's a sure sign that there is domestic abuse. That's just the microcosm of the macrocosm. We're abusing, killing, destroying our wild life and ultimately each other.

What a smart move to cash in on the love of penguins that the march of the penguins brought on and to leave us with a message that we have to care for our earth now. What a fun movie. And the obligatory Robin Williams as both Lovelace and Ramon was too funny.

When Mumble meets up with Ramon and the other Latino penguins and they like his frenetic dance moves it reminded me that somewhere someone appreciates you as you are. I don't know how many big women I've told, "You need to go to the Caribbean, black men love big women."

And that's really it isn't it? Sometimes we're just not appreciated where we live. Sometimes we have to go somewhere else to find the clan that sees our outer beauty.

Oh well, I could go on. I'm glad that my Prince got me out to see the movie that I had a good laugh and felt somewhat inspired. That's all I ask for.


13 December 2006

Power Animals

Wednesday 6:48pm 13Dec06

I love symbols. I love choosing an Angel to carry around in my imagination that will guide me through my intuition into new places or experiences. I thank the angels when I remember something important that I was supposed to take care of. I thank the angels for my continued safety especially when I do something careless. As much as I love animals I'm not sure why I've never looked into power animals before. Everyone knows that I love cats and their independence. I can remember filling out a playful type of questionnaire years ago that you have to name the type of animals that you like and why and somehow it was inked back to the type of qualities that you possess.

Any way I got an email from Carrie Hart announcing her new website on power animals. I finally decided to pay it a visit and meditate on what kind of animal companion I'd like. My quest was for a writing companion. I got the Zebra. Click the title to read the description. And click Enchanted Forest on the top of that page to choose your own power animal.

The funny thing about the Zebra is that he also falls in line with my limitations, feeling like I can choose this but if I do I can't choose that. Ironically I just wrote a piece on my Writing2live blog about choice and vanquishing the limitations.

A zebra? I have cats. I have pictures of polar bears and brown bears. I have elephant ornaments and candles. Dogs, Owls, big cats but no Zebras. I'm going to have to go buy some sort of Zebra pin or keychain or something or other to remind me that my choices are only limited by my imagination and I have a symbol of a writing companion.

It's all energy, might as well work with it.


07 December 2006

Memorial - My Mother

7Dec06 Thursday 6:07am

Well it's today. My mother passed away 10 years ago today. I've lit some candles in her honour.

My mother would be 64 years old. Still very young. Still younger than most of my friends parents. My mother would love the Internet and digital cameras and itunes.

My mother had a grade 6 education having been kicked out of school for hitting a kid in the head with an ink bottle after he'd called her a nigger. When she got home and told her father he'd beat her for being a trouble maker and only after he'd beat her got the whole story and went back to the school to tell off the teacher who'd sided with the boy. My mother who won all the singing contests and wanted to be a Country singer. Her first contest , she'd lost, because she was too shy and kept looking down at the stage. Her father beat that shyness out of her. His answer to everything was a beating. My mother who didn't have a belly button because she was born sickly and all the operations she'd had as a baby left without one. She was a sickly baby and cried a lot and her mother couldn't take it so she gave my mother to her father who was married to someone else. Yeah my mother had stories for sure. It's any wonder that I like to write.

My mother was a charismatic person and made friends with every one including my step father's ex wife. She could go to a store twice and end up having the salespeople loving her so much that they'd give her merchandise for free. I don't have those qualities or patience. She honestly believed that there was good in every one and if you gave someone enough chances he'd become that good person that she could picture in her mind's eye. She would let anyone in her house, people that weren't particularly nice to her, women that were after her man. I had no patience for it. "It's your house mom, you don't have to be nice to people like that in your own house," I'd say.
"You'll understand when you're older," she'd tell me. That has yet to happen.

My mother was a runner, living most of her adult life incognito, after we ran from my father who was a violent alcoholic. She endured violence and pain and humiliation and she still managed to wake up each morning with a smile on her face. Some of our best laughs were the first thing in the morning. She was superstitious, believing such things like, "If you laugh all day, you'll cry all night" and "everything comes in threes."

She was zany and would change the words to sweet songs into sex songs. One of my favorite past times. Our big thing was to come up with a song that matched the words that one of us just spoke and if we couldn't we'd make up a song.

With my mother, I went to night clubs at 13 years old. I hung out with adults. We smoked joints and played frisbee on the Mountain.
We had drink nights at home, just the two of us, where we listened to music and tried all kinds of wines and even did tequila shots. We were the envy of all mothers. She was the first person that knew when I was ready to have my first sexual experience with my boyfriend of 4 years. She was the first person that I told what I was thinking.

My mother made so many mistakes in life and endured so many failures and believed and loved and loved some more. She picked the runt of the litter every single time. She rescued strays (animals and humans). She was allergic to everything in her house (cats, dogs, birds, carpeting) and refused to give them up or get the shots. She survived with bottles of Otrivin strategically placed around the house. She was a music lover and we always had the latest music and a state of the art music system despite my step father's complaints that spending money on music was frivolous. She'd sneak the new records in the house when he wasn't looking. She was a plant fanatic and had exotic plants from all over the world. Plants that she'd have to soak in water for 24 hours and all sorts of craziness. She couldn't walk past a plant store without staying in there for at least an hour. That's me with book stores.

She had a grade 6 education and was the smartest person I knew. My step father mocked her for her lack of University degree and she had self esteem issues and yet when ever he needed to understand something, it was my mother he asked for the explanation. I knew because of my mother that you can educate yourself without school. She absorbed everything and when she decided she wanted to know how to do something she'd immerse herself in the books and she'd learn how to do it. a Grade 6 education! I have yet to meet anyone that I feel was as smart as my mother.

She knew people from all walks of life, from drug dealers, pimps, bank robbers, doctors, club owners and right on up and she never judged anyone for who they decided to be and what they decided to do.

Yeah she was my mommy, my sister, my best friend. She was the person I fought with the most and the person I turned to to cry and the person I told everything and the person I'd give my youth to if it were possible. She was the person that I'd kill for and the person I protected, much to my Step dad's fear. There will never be another person whose death will be harder on me than losing my mother.

Ten years is a long time for so many things like being at a job or studying and yet such a short time for mourning the death of my mother. Alice Patricia Norville... Pisces Horse.


05 December 2006

At the Channeling Session

It's funny how when you look for it, you can find the connections when different people are gathered. I went to my first ever channeling session last night and I really felt connected to the people there. We were all artists of different disciplines with similar fears. Or one of us exhibited the open comfort that the rest of us were striving for, almost as proof that we could all have that open comfort too. It's nice when that happens. When we're open to delving into the seemingly weird we find so many inspiring things about ourselves and each other.

The three main things I got from this channeling session was to notice our connections, to think about compassionate giving versus obligatory giving (especially during the holiday season where we feel obligated to spend, spend, spend) and an emotional clarity to seek my own self-fulfillment that some of the things that I've been doing have already been in line with that (like my solitary Christmas ritual). The air or better yet energy was such that it bred an openness to express yourself in whatever way that you felt inclined to without judging yourself nor feeling judged by others. How rare is that in our day to day and yet how needed? Walking to the beat of our own drum, being able to be a true individual and okay with being it.

Some of the notes I made from the session include:
- You get to choose how you are affected by others deeds, words and actions.
- It's called self-fulfillment not 'others' fulfillment
- It's about me and how I choose to feel.
- You can create peace from within no matter what.
- What do I want to experience in this moment? How do I want to feel in this moment?
- Compassionate giving versus obligatory giving
- What do I want to give? What feels good for me to give?
- How can I find that place of feeling good?
- What does it look like when I know that I am divine, I am an Angel, I am a part of God
- Feeling fulfilled within myself
- Strengthen your connection through what I think, say and do - shine it forth

My heart gravitated to Jenna who is an actor and with our shared comments about the people that want to keep us from our dreams, make us face some reality about the possibility of failure, I realized where my caretaking needs fit in. I want to help to match artists with a mentor type person that I know will nurture their dreams. Like I did with my friend Goldfish who I set up with my very dear and very talented and very nurturing theatre company owning and directing friend, I mentioned doing the same for Jenna. I love my friend's shows because they exhibit without her saying out loud, her love for theatre and performers. I made no promises as I did with Goldfish. I just said that this is a person whose, at the very least, shows you should attend, I'll introduce you two and you can take it from there or not.
What is failure versus success anyway? For someone who really loves acting, doing community theatre for the rest of their lives can be as big a success as someone who makes millions per film. It's what we want, the truth of who we are, versus what others think we should have in the material realm that proves our worth.

It was a beautiful session. I actually believed that I would dream about my mother last night when I went to bed but instead had a romantic dream about the man who makes me laugh the most and makes me feel alive with our shared chemistry and natural enjoyment of each other.

Before I went home I went to a Christmas party at my old job knowing that this was a sort of good bye. I wasn't even on the list but went in anyway. I chatted with the CEO and had him cracking up because I was talking to him like he was some regular person, not the bigwig that most people treat him like.

I felt like the beacon of love. So many people hugged me and told me that they had to hug me. People that I'd never hugged the whole ten years that I'd worked there hugged me. With one, I jokingly said, "Okay that just plain scared me. That's like the Michael Corleone kiss of death!"
One person apologized for being so mushy, "Are you kidding me?" I asked, "I am the Queen of mushy. You can always do mushy with me."

So that is the culmination of my first channeling session. After I hugged Judith Onley and said my good-byes, I said, "I will definitely do this again." I forgot to say that I was grateful.

If you've never been to a channeling and would like to check one out... Judith Onley and her United Souls of Heaven and Earth can be found at Dance with Spirit
or emailed at judith at dancewithspirit dot com.