27 December 2006

Something to Start 2007 With

Wednesday 11:18am 27Dec06

We're in the home stretch of the end of the year. Some of us have plans, some of us are still holding out for "the plans" and some of us haven't got a clue but we're all thinking about what 2007 will bring. A new love, a new job, prosperity, another chance at making a whole year the year. Here is a nice message that I received in my email this morning that is perfect to share...
Click the title to see Carrie Hart's website. She also has magnificent meditations that I happened to purchase.
May all your wishes come true in 2007!


Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Quado Daily Portion

Meet Your Team for 2007

Today, I would like you to meet the team that is going to support you in 2007. I would like you to meet Love, Courage, Peace and Faith, to invite them in to be your lifetime companions. To enter your life and abide there, within you, part of your being, ever a part of your thoughts and actions, an integral part of who you are.

Picture them now. Great, white and glowing with power, a golden light encircling each one, a light that comes from within, so bright and powerful that fear and doubt cannot survive in their presence.

You may picture them as powerful winged angels, strong and glowing. You may picture them as knights, galloping in, silver armor flashing, swords ready to defeat the darkness. You may picture them as great balls of golden energy. Whatever form you wish them to take, they will take. Whatever powers you feel they need to have to finally defeat the last bits of fear and doubt within you, you may give them.

See them before you. Feel yourself open to their presence. Invite them in now.

First open your heart, wide and wider. Invite Love to enter and fill your heart completely. Feel the glow, the warmth, as all the ice melts, as all the hardness softens, as the cracks and fissures mend. Your heart is glowing with love. It is nothing but love. It is love completely.

Now open your heart even wider and allow Courage to take up residence alongside Love. See what a wonderful team they make, Love and Courage, allowing you to take on anything and everything, confident and daring, yet still feeling safe and secure.

And now, open your mind and invite Faith to enter. Invite the light of Faith to shine there so brightly, that doubt is instantly dissolved. It cannot sustain in the bright glow of faith. Your belief is absolute. You believe in yourself and all that you can accomplish and you believe also in the help that is there for you. Your mind is on your side, willing to support the actions that Love and Courage are now yearning for. They are all working together as your team.

And now, open your center and let it fill with Peace, like a deep and endless pool of water. This pool of Peace will allow you to come down and reach your personal truth, no matter what is happening, no matter what you are feeling or anyone else is saying. It will allow you to make your decisions and choices freely, from a deep sense of knowing.

And now, for a moment, just glow within the presence of these four, Love, Courage, Faith and Peace, filling you from head to toe, lighting your life, giving you the absolute power to be the fullest and best expression of yourself that you could possibly be, shining with the glory that is you.

And now, feel how a fifth presence is forming. It is Joy, for Joy is naturally formed wherever Love, Courage, Faith and Peace abide. Joy cannot stay away when her friends are all present. And Joy surrounds you now and is within you and without you, lifting your energies higher and higher.

And now they are all with you: your team for 2007. How blessed you are!

Here is a little prayer for today

I open my heart and invite Love and Courage to enter, to live within me every day, all day, filling me with their glow.

I open my mind and fill it with Faith, a bright glow ever present, a part of every decision I make. My belief in myself and the help that is there for me is absolute.

I open my center and fill it with Peace, a deep pool of Peace that allows me to reach my truth, always clear, always there in a deep knowing.

And now, I invite Joy to fill me from head to toe, forming my perfect team for the rest of my life. Love, Courage, Faith, Peace and Joy. This is what my life is made of. This is who I am. I glow from this energy, this presence. I am brought fully home to myself.

I am love. I am courage. I am faith and peace. I am joy. I am.


18 December 2006

30 Day Challenge

Monday 7:46pm 18Dec06

I'm the challenge Queen. I love competing against myself. When I was a little girl and the slowest eater in the house I used to pretend that I was on a tv show and the audience was watching me eat my dinner. I would get myself to eat quicker because I knew the audience was cheering me on. ha ha!

At one crappy job I used to work at, I used to play games like seeing how long I could go without looking at the clock. Or timing myself at how fast I could get through one account and then try to do the next account even quicker.

I love writing challenges like timed writings and novels in a month and writing 1000 words a day. It's the kid in me that still lives in her imagination with her two best friends, Me, myself and I. So while digging around the internet for inspiration I happened upon Steve Pavlina's 30 days to Success (click the 30 Day Challenge title for the article.)

I've been thinking about what my first 30 day challenge could be. This morning as I crawled out of bed at half past 6 I happened upon my first challenge. Getting my butt up at 4am like I used to do. I've been very very bad and have been enjoying sleep more and quite frankly it's been months since I got up at 4am on a regular basis. So that's where I begin... starting tomorrow. Yes crazy girlfish will be getting up at 4am on Christmas day!

On my writing2live blog, I discussed going forward with Mastering a Skill (my writing, of course). I quoted it here in one of my morning prayers entries.. it takes 1000 hours to become competent; 5000 hours to master a skill and 25,000 ro 35,000 to become World Class. Calculating it down to a weekly quota brings it to 21 hours a week. If I want to get any where near completing my 1000 hours in a year I've got to rise with the birds. It's such a beautiful time of the day.

I'm hoping the 30 day stint will create that daily habit again and I can move forward with another 30day challenge. Any body want to send me their 30 day challenge? Let's forget about New Year's resolutions, I never make them cuz I know they don't work, and jump onto a challenge instead...

I just counted the days, 30 days will take me to 17Jan07...


17 December 2006

Act Your Age, not your shoe size...

4:43pm Sunday 17Dec06

Had much music on for a hot minute this morning while I got ready to go out to meet my breakfast buddy. I'm sitting there staring at the TV with my head cocked to one side, "is that Prince singing? Why hasn't anyone told me he has a song in Happy Feet? I've got to see it TODAY!"

I saw Happy Feet. What an adorable movie. If there are any stuffed animals of Mumble as a baby, somebody please buy me one!

Talk about the theme of Free Spirit. A penguin that dances in a clan of penguins that sing!. Too freaking cute. The tapping kept making me think about Gregory Hines, whom I loved loved loved! Turns out it was choreographed by Savion Glover who totally deserves the Gregory Hines' title of king of tap.

I remember Savion as a kid in Greg's movie Tap (that nobody went to see) that had all the black old timers of tap and dance like the Nicholas brothers before they all died off. Challenge! Challenge!
Savion looked like he could be Gregory Hines' kid.

When the Happy Feet started off with the penguins singing Kiss I thought I was going to burst a gut with laughter. I kept saying, Oh no they didn't, oh no they didn't. And using Queen's, somebody to love was just priceless. My Ally Macbeal inspired theme song.

I loved the themes: you have to believe in yourself even when you are different from every one in your clan. The outsider is the one to lead. You have to get through all the pain and lack of belief before you reap the rewards.

I was pretty positive that the movie was going to make me cry but I managed to hold it together.

OMG some of the head moves when they were dancing were killing me. Crack me right up.

It really makes you think about what we are doing to the animals that live on this earth with us. It's too ironic because I just watched an episode of men in trees and there was a comment about throwing off the balance of the ecosystem. It falls in line with Happy Feet. It really is time that we all think about what we are doing and how to correct it individually and giving the message to our children as young as possible so that they are mindful and ready to make creative changes.

The scene in the zoo is heart breaking and reminds me of the art show that was in New York that I would have loved to have gone to. It was a photo exhibit whereby the photographer had gone into each animal's habitat and photographed them. There was a comment that animals that we see in the zoo have basically gone crazy. They don't do the normal things that they would do. They are bored, depressed. They've gone crazy. That polar bear that does the repetitive diving into the water and swimming back up to the top, although he looks fascinating, is exhibiting his insanity. If we don't care about creatures that can't tell us that we are hurting them how the hell are we supposed to listen to and care about each other?

That's the first sign of abuse and abusive behaviour. When the Humane society notes animal abuse in a home it's a sure sign that there is domestic abuse. That's just the microcosm of the macrocosm. We're abusing, killing, destroying our wild life and ultimately each other.

What a smart move to cash in on the love of penguins that the march of the penguins brought on and to leave us with a message that we have to care for our earth now. What a fun movie. And the obligatory Robin Williams as both Lovelace and Ramon was too funny.

When Mumble meets up with Ramon and the other Latino penguins and they like his frenetic dance moves it reminded me that somewhere someone appreciates you as you are. I don't know how many big women I've told, "You need to go to the Caribbean, black men love big women."

And that's really it isn't it? Sometimes we're just not appreciated where we live. Sometimes we have to go somewhere else to find the clan that sees our outer beauty.

Oh well, I could go on. I'm glad that my Prince got me out to see the movie that I had a good laugh and felt somewhat inspired. That's all I ask for.


13 December 2006

Power Animals

Wednesday 6:48pm 13Dec06

I love symbols. I love choosing an Angel to carry around in my imagination that will guide me through my intuition into new places or experiences. I thank the angels when I remember something important that I was supposed to take care of. I thank the angels for my continued safety especially when I do something careless. As much as I love animals I'm not sure why I've never looked into power animals before. Everyone knows that I love cats and their independence. I can remember filling out a playful type of questionnaire years ago that you have to name the type of animals that you like and why and somehow it was inked back to the type of qualities that you possess.

Any way I got an email from Carrie Hart announcing her new website on power animals. I finally decided to pay it a visit and meditate on what kind of animal companion I'd like. My quest was for a writing companion. I got the Zebra. Click the title to read the description. And click Enchanted Forest on the top of that page to choose your own power animal.

The funny thing about the Zebra is that he also falls in line with my limitations, feeling like I can choose this but if I do I can't choose that. Ironically I just wrote a piece on my Writing2live blog about choice and vanquishing the limitations.

A zebra? I have cats. I have pictures of polar bears and brown bears. I have elephant ornaments and candles. Dogs, Owls, big cats but no Zebras. I'm going to have to go buy some sort of Zebra pin or keychain or something or other to remind me that my choices are only limited by my imagination and I have a symbol of a writing companion.

It's all energy, might as well work with it.


07 December 2006

Memorial - My Mother

7Dec06 Thursday 6:07am

Well it's today. My mother passed away 10 years ago today. I've lit some candles in her honour.

My mother would be 64 years old. Still very young. Still younger than most of my friends parents. My mother would love the Internet and digital cameras and itunes.

My mother had a grade 6 education having been kicked out of school for hitting a kid in the head with an ink bottle after he'd called her a nigger. When she got home and told her father he'd beat her for being a trouble maker and only after he'd beat her got the whole story and went back to the school to tell off the teacher who'd sided with the boy. My mother who won all the singing contests and wanted to be a Country singer. Her first contest , she'd lost, because she was too shy and kept looking down at the stage. Her father beat that shyness out of her. His answer to everything was a beating. My mother who didn't have a belly button because she was born sickly and all the operations she'd had as a baby left without one. She was a sickly baby and cried a lot and her mother couldn't take it so she gave my mother to her father who was married to someone else. Yeah my mother had stories for sure. It's any wonder that I like to write.

My mother was a charismatic person and made friends with every one including my step father's ex wife. She could go to a store twice and end up having the salespeople loving her so much that they'd give her merchandise for free. I don't have those qualities or patience. She honestly believed that there was good in every one and if you gave someone enough chances he'd become that good person that she could picture in her mind's eye. She would let anyone in her house, people that weren't particularly nice to her, women that were after her man. I had no patience for it. "It's your house mom, you don't have to be nice to people like that in your own house," I'd say.
"You'll understand when you're older," she'd tell me. That has yet to happen.

My mother was a runner, living most of her adult life incognito, after we ran from my father who was a violent alcoholic. She endured violence and pain and humiliation and she still managed to wake up each morning with a smile on her face. Some of our best laughs were the first thing in the morning. She was superstitious, believing such things like, "If you laugh all day, you'll cry all night" and "everything comes in threes."

She was zany and would change the words to sweet songs into sex songs. One of my favorite past times. Our big thing was to come up with a song that matched the words that one of us just spoke and if we couldn't we'd make up a song.

With my mother, I went to night clubs at 13 years old. I hung out with adults. We smoked joints and played frisbee on the Mountain.
We had drink nights at home, just the two of us, where we listened to music and tried all kinds of wines and even did tequila shots. We were the envy of all mothers. She was the first person that knew when I was ready to have my first sexual experience with my boyfriend of 4 years. She was the first person that I told what I was thinking.

My mother made so many mistakes in life and endured so many failures and believed and loved and loved some more. She picked the runt of the litter every single time. She rescued strays (animals and humans). She was allergic to everything in her house (cats, dogs, birds, carpeting) and refused to give them up or get the shots. She survived with bottles of Otrivin strategically placed around the house. She was a music lover and we always had the latest music and a state of the art music system despite my step father's complaints that spending money on music was frivolous. She'd sneak the new records in the house when he wasn't looking. She was a plant fanatic and had exotic plants from all over the world. Plants that she'd have to soak in water for 24 hours and all sorts of craziness. She couldn't walk past a plant store without staying in there for at least an hour. That's me with book stores.

She had a grade 6 education and was the smartest person I knew. My step father mocked her for her lack of University degree and she had self esteem issues and yet when ever he needed to understand something, it was my mother he asked for the explanation. I knew because of my mother that you can educate yourself without school. She absorbed everything and when she decided she wanted to know how to do something she'd immerse herself in the books and she'd learn how to do it. a Grade 6 education! I have yet to meet anyone that I feel was as smart as my mother.

She knew people from all walks of life, from drug dealers, pimps, bank robbers, doctors, club owners and right on up and she never judged anyone for who they decided to be and what they decided to do.

Yeah she was my mommy, my sister, my best friend. She was the person I fought with the most and the person I turned to to cry and the person I told everything and the person I'd give my youth to if it were possible. She was the person that I'd kill for and the person I protected, much to my Step dad's fear. There will never be another person whose death will be harder on me than losing my mother.

Ten years is a long time for so many things like being at a job or studying and yet such a short time for mourning the death of my mother. Alice Patricia Norville... Pisces Horse.


05 December 2006

At the Channeling Session

It's funny how when you look for it, you can find the connections when different people are gathered. I went to my first ever channeling session last night and I really felt connected to the people there. We were all artists of different disciplines with similar fears. Or one of us exhibited the open comfort that the rest of us were striving for, almost as proof that we could all have that open comfort too. It's nice when that happens. When we're open to delving into the seemingly weird we find so many inspiring things about ourselves and each other.

The three main things I got from this channeling session was to notice our connections, to think about compassionate giving versus obligatory giving (especially during the holiday season where we feel obligated to spend, spend, spend) and an emotional clarity to seek my own self-fulfillment that some of the things that I've been doing have already been in line with that (like my solitary Christmas ritual). The air or better yet energy was such that it bred an openness to express yourself in whatever way that you felt inclined to without judging yourself nor feeling judged by others. How rare is that in our day to day and yet how needed? Walking to the beat of our own drum, being able to be a true individual and okay with being it.

Some of the notes I made from the session include:
- You get to choose how you are affected by others deeds, words and actions.
- It's called self-fulfillment not 'others' fulfillment
- It's about me and how I choose to feel.
- You can create peace from within no matter what.
- What do I want to experience in this moment? How do I want to feel in this moment?
- Compassionate giving versus obligatory giving
- What do I want to give? What feels good for me to give?
- How can I find that place of feeling good?
- What does it look like when I know that I am divine, I am an Angel, I am a part of God
- Feeling fulfilled within myself
- Strengthen your connection through what I think, say and do - shine it forth

My heart gravitated to Jenna who is an actor and with our shared comments about the people that want to keep us from our dreams, make us face some reality about the possibility of failure, I realized where my caretaking needs fit in. I want to help to match artists with a mentor type person that I know will nurture their dreams. Like I did with my friend Goldfish who I set up with my very dear and very talented and very nurturing theatre company owning and directing friend, I mentioned doing the same for Jenna. I love my friend's shows because they exhibit without her saying out loud, her love for theatre and performers. I made no promises as I did with Goldfish. I just said that this is a person whose, at the very least, shows you should attend, I'll introduce you two and you can take it from there or not.
What is failure versus success anyway? For someone who really loves acting, doing community theatre for the rest of their lives can be as big a success as someone who makes millions per film. It's what we want, the truth of who we are, versus what others think we should have in the material realm that proves our worth.

It was a beautiful session. I actually believed that I would dream about my mother last night when I went to bed but instead had a romantic dream about the man who makes me laugh the most and makes me feel alive with our shared chemistry and natural enjoyment of each other.

Before I went home I went to a Christmas party at my old job knowing that this was a sort of good bye. I wasn't even on the list but went in anyway. I chatted with the CEO and had him cracking up because I was talking to him like he was some regular person, not the bigwig that most people treat him like.

I felt like the beacon of love. So many people hugged me and told me that they had to hug me. People that I'd never hugged the whole ten years that I'd worked there hugged me. With one, I jokingly said, "Okay that just plain scared me. That's like the Michael Corleone kiss of death!"
One person apologized for being so mushy, "Are you kidding me?" I asked, "I am the Queen of mushy. You can always do mushy with me."

So that is the culmination of my first channeling session. After I hugged Judith Onley and said my good-byes, I said, "I will definitely do this again." I forgot to say that I was grateful.

If you've never been to a channeling and would like to check one out... Judith Onley and her United Souls of Heaven and Earth can be found at Dance with Spirit
or emailed at judith at dancewithspirit dot com.


30 November 2006

Running Away

Thursday 30Nov06 8:21pm

I caught a bit of a movie with Keanu Reeves, Cameron Dias and Vincent D'Onofrio on the weekend. Can't for the life of me remember the name. In the movie, Cameron's character begs Keanu's to take her with him. Run away. I thought, how nice the idea of running away. Going somewhere new, not knowing anyone other than the person you're with. Blank slate. You can create yourself as a completely different person that the one everyone knows in your present life.

"What do I have to run away from?" I asked myself. I thought and thought and realized as I said it out loud, "Nothing!"
For the first time in my life I don't feel like I have anything to run away from. Where did that come from? Where indeed?

I'm broke and I'm in debt but that's my only real problem and taking care of that is about time, plain and simple. Time and less spending.

And thank goodness I don't have anything to run from because I've got a shit load of books to pack, if I did run.

I've got a few entries on the new blog, if you're interested... Writing Zazen
I'm liking the wordpress.com service if you're interested in blogging it's been the most user friendly thus far. The only thing is I haven't found a spell check. And the type is larger when you're posting which makes a huge difference to me since I'm on the computer all day at work and have strained eyes when I blog at night.


27 November 2006

i'm More Stubborn than I thought

Monday 10:57pm 27Nov06

So I started another writing blog. It's twice now that I've had some sort of issue with Angelfire. If they save my stuff I'll keep posting there and if they can't I've got Writing Zazen

Click the title to be led there...


Fingers Crossed

Monday 8:08pm 27Nov06

My other blog has disappeared! I don't know what happened. Sigh! If it's gone for good there's a boatload of writing that I've just lost. Again!
I've sent a help ticket to Angelfire to ask if they can retrieve it. My RSS feed still shows old entries so I'm thinking that that is a plus. What do I do if I've lost more writing?
Fall down seven times, get up eight and keep my fingers crossed!



25 November 2006

Giving my Writing back to Myself

Saturday 7:41am 25Nov06

Received a call from my boss at my old job a couple weeks ago. She told me that she'd have to take me off the payroll because I haven't worked there in five months and Human Resources has been breathing down her neck. The funny thing is that I'd actually quit but it was my boss that suggested that she keep me on the payroll in case I'd changed my mind. I'm glad that I'm finally being released.

It wasn't easy to quit five months ago. The job has saved my ass so many times but I have no joy going through those doors to work a shift. I don't care about the extra money, although I could use it.

It's all energy. If you're earning money but aren't happy about the ways you earn it that affects everything -- the way you live, the way you spend, your ability to save. That's why I call it being released from my old job. Letting go of the old fears that I need a crutch because I may have made a bad decision. Letting go of the feeling that I had a family there and if I left who would I turn to? Letting go of five minute comps. Getting to see theatre shows and dance and the like for free has given me the chance to see shows from around the world that I would have never seen. And so many other things.

I responded to my old boss via email. I knew if we talked on the phone she'd pull at my heart strings, talk about how much she still wanted me there, tell me how much she was always able to depend on me. Who needs that noise? Or is it static? In my email, I reminded her that I'd already quit, there was no reason to apologize for being forced to take me off the payroll, it really is no biggie. In her response she said, "was kinda hoping that you wanted to come back..." Bingo!

No, I don't want to go back. I want to move forward. Despite being more cash poor now than I've ever been in my working life. I'm committed to working my full time job and writing in the rest of my hours. If I don't learn that lesson now, when do I learn it? If you are still in love with your ex you can't really move forward with someone new with out all these old issues popping up. I can't hold on to my old job, work my current job and balance my writing life and attempt to have a social life anymore. I have to say what I want then live it.

I made a man cry the other night, well, a week ago. The reason why he cried was that I made it okay for his fuck ups. I told him that you taught your children more by being out of their lives for five years and then coming back then you would have if you hadn't left at all. You taught them that they can fuck up and climb their way back out of it. You couldn't have taught them that lesson if you hadn't fucked up.
He said, "But I still feel bad."
Yeah we're always going to second guess ourselves aren't we? We're always going to wonder if the choices we make are mistakes. We're always going to wonder about how we hurt others and ourselves. But there are benefits we gain from the voids in our lives and there are negatives we get from the so called good things in life.

My biggest benefit that I've gained from the voids in my life is my writing. I started writing because I couldn't draw as well as my brother. I continued to write because I felt ignored in my family. I felt like I wasn't listened to with the same respect as my other family members. I needed a way to express myself because I always had a feeling of neglect despite the fact that my mother and I were very close. She couldn't give me 100% of her attention (who can?) because she had her own cross to bear. She had her guilt for that. But she gave me my writing.

And in letting go of my old job once and for all I'm giving my writing back to myself. Yeah, I could pay off all my bills and have the money to buy nicer furniture in my apartment. I could have a bigger wardrobe with the latest fashion. I could look outwardly better from all the things money can bring me and I will - eventually. But if I don't feel good inside, none of those things will make me look better.

If I hold on to a past job that I haven't liked for at least two years, if I hold on to that stand by position, if I have to suffer fools (which come in big supply at that job) ... Well, you do the math.

14 November 2006

Inspiring People 2

One of my favorite quotes is from Rumi, "The morning breeze has secrets to tell you, don't go back to sleep."

It's basically about when you wake up at some crazy hour, way before your alarm goes off to start your day, and instead of going back to sleep staying awake to hear what your intuition has to tell you. If you listen long enough, you'll hear it. Instead of being stressed out that you're not getting all your sleep be inspired that your intuition has woken you up. It's hard. Sleeping is so much fun. But if you can manage to stay up and listen, well, who knows?

From inspiration to income
Wayne Fromm has transformed frequent middle-of-the-night brainstorms into nearly 50 successful commercial products
Nov. 11, 2006. 09:40 AM From The Toronto Star

Almost everyone has thought of at least one great invention they believed would make them a million dollars. But few are like Wayne Fromm, who has converted his musings into nearly 50 successful commercial products.

Even among inventors that's a rare feat.

"Less than one-tenth of one per cent of patents are profitable. The odds are against you there," said Fromm, 51.

Over the past 18 years, Fromm's "hits" have included Disney's Beauty and the Beast Magic Talking Mirror, Crayola's Sketch-A-Lot and Nesquik and MacDonald's Magic Milkshake Makers.

But the buyer at a well-known regional camera chain knew none of this when Fromm stepped inside the Toronto store a few months ago looking for help getting his latest idea, the Quik Pod, on the market.

He just thought Fromm's invention, a kind of "extendable hand-held tripod" that lets you photograph yourself with your friends and family, was cool.

"There's nothing else like it in the marketplace," said Jim Floroff, a buyer for Henry's Cameras. The Quik Pod won't be in Henry's stores until sometime next week, he said. But initial response has been positive.

"Wayne brought the prototype to The Imaging Show last month just to get some response. People wanted to buy it. But it wasn't in the country yet," Floroff added.

This weekend, Fromm will be putting his invention to the big test when it appears for the first time on The Shopping Channel and in an ad tomorrow in The New York Times for the venerable J&R Music and Computer World store.

Fromm said he invented the Quik Pod to solve a problem he had taking a photo of himself and his daughter in a restaurant. The table was wobbly and he didn't want to ask a stranger to shoot the picture.

"I can see video bloggers using it to film themselves, making their own movies, at three in the morning," Fromm said. Down the road, he has an idea for a website where amateurs could post their news and views from around the world.

The lightweight extendable device works with any photo or video camera weighing less than two kilograms and with a standard tripod mount and a self-timer.

After years of inventing products mainly for the toy industry, bringing the Quik Pod to market was like starting all over again, he said.

As usual, there was no instruction manual to follow. But a combination of intellectual curiosity, marketing savvy and relentless focus seems to be part of the winning formula.

A university degree in psychology gave him insight into how people think. His apprenticeship in his father's bowling alley and movie theatre business taught him entrepreneurship. And the chain of video-arcade stores he launched in the 1980s, called Video Invasion, taught him how to fix things with circuits and wires.

The rest, he said, is trial and error. "You have to be very patient, very focused and a little crazy."

He says his ideas come out of his head. "It's totally unscientific. I just go with my gut feeling." His focus group is an ex-girlfriend. "I have 100 ideas a week. She tells me 99.9 are no good." And his (now) adult daughter, Sage, who's in her second year at university. "I'll wake her up at three in the morning to say, `Should it be in this colour or that colour?'"

His laboratory is his basement, where he assembles products using everyday items he purchases from stores such as The Source and Canadian Tire. His first effort at the Quik Pod, for example, was based on parts cannibalized from an umbrella and a ball-point pen.

After that, Fromm said it's a matter of making lots of calls and sometimes flying to New York, Europe or China to meet people personally. And never taking no for an answer.

Sometimes, he licenses an invention to a big name. Other times, he brings the idea to market himself, as he did with the Quik Pod. Not all ideas bear fruit. He once worked on an idea for two years only to find out someone else had beaten him to the punch. Another time he licensed a product to a company that sat on it for two years because it no longer fit its corporate strategy.

By the time Fromm arrived at Henry's, he had the prototype, the packaging and the marketing strategy all worked out, Floroff said. Fromm also brought in a receipt for a product he'd bought at Henry's back in 1971. "I wanted them to know I was a long-time customer," Fromm said. "They got a big kick out of that."

The buyer for the store was impressed.

"This was a finished product," Floroff said "So, yes, we took a chance on it. It's hard to say how it will do."

But Henry's has ordered "hundreds," just in case.

12 November 2006

Belief and Patience Opens Doors

Sunday 12Nov06 4:39pm

I'm so in love with the television series Heroes that I have to say that I think it is the best show I have ever watched on TV.
I watched four episodes in a row this weekend and by the end of them I was thinking about Milo Ventimiglia and feeling happy for him that he's got such a stellar gig. Milo played a major character on the series, Gilmore Girls for a couple years and since he's left the show aside from the odd cameo appearance he hasn't really come back in any substantial way.
When ever I read anything about the Gilmore Girls there is always some mention about Milo being asked back and him always declining.

He's said something along the lines that there's no where for his character Jess Mariano to go. When you read about it, if you're a Gilmore Girls fan, you think, "what's he doing? He's not on anything. He might as well make a pay cheque." But Milo has really stuck to his guns and not suckered himself back into a role that isn't going to go anywhere for him. The show is called the Gilmore Girls after all, how much of a role can you give a guy that isn't one of the Gilmore girls?

Anyway, Milo has been jumping around getting bites of shows here and there but nothing that has really lasted. He had a spin off show for his character Jess that never really got past the pilot episode. He also had the Bedford Diaries that never really went anywhere either. So that's why I'm so thrilled to see him in Heroes. As someone with many actor friends, I know how hard it is to have a plan and stick to it without worrying about paying your rent. It couldn't have been easy for him to seemingly sit around waiting for the right project that would have more than 2 episodes air. Be pestered by people telling him he was crazy not to jump at the chance for a gig by returning to Gilmore Girls. It's not easy having a plan and sticking to it despite everybody in your life telling you that you're crazy to wait for the elusive gem that may never cross your path.

I found the whole thing inspiring this weekend. Thinking that he's waited a good three/four years to get this part in a show that could quite possibly be the best show that's ever been on television. And who wouldn't want to play a super hero? Hello!

You have to believe in yourself and what you want and the process of how things come to you. Despite what others tell you they think you should do, where they think you should live, how they think you should act, how they think you should or shouldn't be in a relationship and all the other shoulds that people should on you. Sometimes it is a waiting game. Sometimes it takes years. But belief and patience open doors when you stick to your plan for yourself.


07 November 2006


Tuesday 7Nov06 9pm

Grant me the senility
to forget the people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune
to run into the ones I do,
and the eyesight
to tell the difference.

It made me giggle!

31 October 2006

Missing in Action

Tuesday 5:47pm 31Oct06

I've been missing in action on the EY Page blog front. I was off to the International Festival of Authors for ten days. Lots of inspiration for writers. See my other blog Writing2Live if you have any interest in that. (Click the Missing in Action title to go there)

I've got a busy November ahead with National Novel Writing Month starting tomorrow for the month of November. Basically you attempt to write a 50,000 word novel in a month. I enter it every year because it's a good test to push yourself to write and hope one of these years that at the end of the month I end up with a decent piece to revise. Plus it's just good at making you build the habit of sitting down and writing every single day without letting yourself get stopped up by the constant distractions that can plague a writer. There's still time to sign up for it, if you're so inclined or to check it out just to know what a whack of crazy writers do every year just because they can... http://www.nanowrimo.org

I'd like to get back to posting more on this blog but can't promise much during November. My Writing2live blog is more of my daily blog with a variety of topics like the Zelda Diaries (about my new very cute and crazy terrorist kitten), Writing outings, Daily practice and the like.

But I'm always on the look out for inspiration and I'm sure I will need it in droves during Nanowrimo. Anything to get me writing and living with joy and loving which I'm finding much easier since the Festival of Authors and the new men in my life and my new best friend and and...

Keep looking for what inspires you.


Joe Eigo

Tuesday 5:29pm 31Oct06

I met Joe Eigo in 2001 (when he was barely legal )because I work with his father. He was a nice kid, friendly, looked me straight in the eyes when he spoke to me. He had plans then. He wanted to do his thing freelance (he was selling Tahitian Noni) and looking for ways to take his talents to the next level. He's since been in a Jackie Chan movie, was in The Mirvish production of the Lord of the Rings and the sky really is the limit for him.
Someone commented after he left that he was arrogant and had his head in the clouds. "He should go and get a job like every normal person does."
Sometimes people confuse self confidence with arrogance, the arrogant brag about what they can apparently do boring you with their seemingly wonderful stories about how great they are, the self confident just do it.

Here's what they had to say about Joe Eigo in today's Toronto Star... (click the title to get the Toronto Star page and full article )...

Off the wall flips
T.O. flipmaster's online video puts him in the money
`I get hungry before I get tired,' stuntman says
Oct. 31, 2006. 05:37 AM

Joe Eigo points to the dent his foot made in the ceiling.

It was a stupid thing to do: A three-kick standing backflip gone awry. The 8-foot ceiling of the Black Belt World martial arts studio at Bloor St. W. and Ossington wasn't high enough.

Now he takes stunts like that to the alley, where they belong.

In 2002, he uploaded a video clip of himself flipping off of vertical rocks at Ryerson University. He was jumping vertical distances most people can't climb. He looks like a video game character on acid.

The video went viral, garnering millions of hits. Now, thanks to an incentive program from a wannabe YouTube killing website called Metacafe, Eigo's received a fat cheque for his labours. For every 1,000 views, the producer of any video on the site receives $5 (U.S.). So far, Eigo has banked $23,000. That's 4.6 million views of his clip "Matrix for Real." Metacafe's owners hope the incentive program will pull the best content to the site, making it an online trafficker of the most addictive and distracting. Eigo's film earned its cash in a trial run of the program and has received the highest payout to date.

His tricks look fake, a product of camera tricks and wires. They're not. Eigo trained in competitive gymnastics for four years, between the ages of 9 and 13. "That's how I overcame the fear."

Raised in Aurora, now living in downtown Toronto, the 26-year-old stuntman can jump onto a platform his own height. Eigo is quiet and lean. He practises in torn black sweats. On request, without blinking, he jumps, flips and somersaults in the air. He lands like a cat....

... Eigo does about an hour and a half of intense workout every day and now says he can do stunts for about five hours straight. "I get hungry before I get tired," he says.

He's broken fingers and toes and has developed arthritis in his ankles. Sometimes passersby chastise him for attempting such complicated stunts on the fly, over pavement.

When he speaks about his abilities, he talks like he's in a video game. He "powers up" and tries to reach "new levels," he says. He's inspired by Bruce Lee. "Anything is possible," he says.

No one's quite sure how much better Eigo can get. His mentor and agent Tommy Chang says Eigo's mix of acrobatics, gymnastics and martial arts is the best in the world.

"We all have different talents. I love to jump and flip. Who knows what other talents I can unlock?"

With Chang, he's now working on a new stunt jumping over a moving car. No one's been able to do that. Yet.

For more of Eigo's videos, see http://www.multilevelmoves.com

16 October 2006

Evening Prayers

Monday 7:18pm 16Oct06
I started reading this again at night before I go to bed. It's from the Og Mandino book The Greatest Miracle in the World. Hmm, Anthony Robbins turned me on to Og Mandino...

It's a long one.

Click the Evening Prayers Title to be led to the page.

15 October 2006

Inspirational Short

To get what you've never had you must do what you've never done...

Click the title for the link.

How to Get Motivated

"Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice."

-Wayne Dyer

How to Get - and Stay - Motivated (an excerpt)

By Michael Masterson
Once your image of yourself changes, your motivation will become permanent.
if you see yourself as someone who may be able to start out strong, but never really accomplish anything great, you need to drastically revise your vision of yourself. You have to turn yourself into number one at whatever you do - the person to go to when no one else can get the job done.

To become that person, you will have to:

1. Get up early, and give your day a jumpstart by doing something meaningful ... first thing.

2. Work as late as you have to.

3. Do at least 50 percent more than what is asked of you.

4. Volunteer for challenging assignments.

5. Educate yourself on the side.

6. Become better than anyone else at the essential skills you need to accomplish your goal.

Becoming top dog takes a lot of extra time, so you'll have to make significant sacrifices.

If you are like most people, your biggest distractions will be television, the Internet, friends, and family. Get rid of your TV. Limit your Internet use to one hour a day. And let your friends and family members know that you won't be able to spend much time with them in the foreseeable future.

Work like mad until you've become number one in your class, job, or hobby. When that happens - and it shouldn't take more than six months - you'll feel great about yourself. And once you experience that feeling, you'll never have to worry about motivation again.

Well ... almost never.

For the full article click the title.

13 October 2006

Conversations with God

Friday 10:21pm 13Oct06

My friend invited me to see the pre-screening of the movie, Conversations with God. It was at a church (Unity) in the Yonge and Eglinton area. I got there an hour early. It was a nice change to be out of my own neighbourhood and walk and admire some of the houses. It's good for the brain too to think of dreams that lie dormant. Maybe I might like living in a house. Maybe I could be happy with a family of my own choosing brought together on my beliefs of what a family could be. You never know, maybe I'm ready to live a different sort of life.

I was looking forward to meeting my friend's new friends. There was to be four of us in total. It turned out to be just us three. Three is always an issue when it's three people, I find. Especially when you don't all know each other. My friend and his new friend are working on a major project together, their excitement and subsequent conversations are filled with their project. I couldn't hear what they were discussing nor could I add anything even if I could hear them. At one point they both left me at the seat so they could mingle with people they knew and then they stood at the back of the theatre together chatting. I had a longer conversation with the guy across the aisle from me. Apparently attending the church changed he and his wife's life. "It's not one of those churchy churches. The Sunday discussions are inspirational," he told me. "You might consider coming one Sunday morning to see for yourself."

I just might.

I wasn't mad about feeling left out. I kept thinking about my blog entry about the Law of Recognition and repeated in my head, I don't belong here.
"Your assignment is always to a place. You don't belong every where. There's a place where your gift will blossom. There is a place where you are celebrated. "

The amount of people that stood in front of me in the aisle where I was sitting (including my friend's friend) reaffirmed that this new trip my friend is on is not my trip, it's not my place. And it's good not to force ourselves into the wrong place.

The movie takes a leisurely pace. I'd wondered how they would handle Conversations with God. It's not like there's any action in the books. Overall, come the end of the movie, I felt they did a great job. Without giving any thing away, it made me want to hand more change to the homeless. You have to rethink why someone is dirty. One powerful scene is when Neal, after having the strong intention to never eat food out of a garbage, succumbs to his hunger and pulls food from a plastic container inside a dumpster and eats it and he cries from his shame. But he can't stop eating it, he's that hungry. A child stands there staring at him and the child's mother pulls him away. I kept thinking, "give him some money, give him some money."

No one ever dreams of becoming homeless and scrounging out of garbage bins or dumpster diving. But with anything, our shame subsides out of necessity, out of a hunger so great it's debilitating.

There were some lines that inspired me:
We do things out of Love or Fear.
It's not what others think of you it's what you think of yourself.
Love as much as you can where you are.
When Neal is preparing to go for a job interview he gets scared and asks the woman who has helped him to clean up, "What if it doesn't work? And she replies, "What if it does work?" That's a question I'd like to start asking myself, What if it does work?
You can't have anything you want. This one stumped me for a second. You can't have anything you want because your focus is on the lack of having it. You have to stop wanting and start having.
And the brilliant question, What would love do?

I had a bit of a breakthrough while watching the movie that ultimately brought me to tears. In the close to ten years that my mother has been gone I've stopped living. I've been on a subconscious death trip slowly dying each year. It's that child that says I want my mommy when she is hurt or sad or scared when it's too dark. I've been slowly preparing myself to join her because I've felt alone. But I'm not alone when I'm where I belong, when I'm in my right place.

In my right place I shock myself by the loudness of my laugh, like at lunch with Lolo today. In my right place I can take serious criticism about my conduct and see it as helpful and a sign of that person's genuine love for me to tell me the truth like Ado has been doing lately. My happiness is in the process of writing whether I ever become published or not. I am alive when I look up at the clock and don't know where all that time has gone when it's been hours but it feels like it's been minutes. I feel alive when I flirt with a certain fellow who makes me laugh and catches my unnoticed innuendo then lets me know he's going to let that slide.

We can all change our lives. That's the main message I took from Conversations with God. I can change this life that feels like it's breaking down and falling to pieces. I wouldn't try to build a sturdy building from one with decrepit floors and walls. No, I'd tear that sucker down first. I can stop wanting a better life and have it instead.

Go support the movie on its opening weekend 10Nov06. We need to have more movies like this and the only way it's going to happen is by getting bum in seats on the opening weekends. We really do have the power to change what the choices we're given but we have to show up.

Until then, I'm going to go back and read the books again.

And possibly write a new prayer:
Today, I will do things out of Love
I will focus on what I think of me
I will love as much as I can from where I am
I will be the one I've been waiting for
When I'm scared of attempting I will ask myself, What if it DOES work?
Before I react to trying situations I will ask myself, What would love do now?
I will stop wanting a better life and start having one
by being in my right place


10 October 2006

Morning Prayers 4

Beginning Today

Beginning today I will no longer worry about yesterday.
It is in the past and the past will never change.
Only I can change by choosing to do so.

Beginning today I will no longer worry about tomorrow.
Tomorrow will always be there, waiting for me to make the most of it.
But I cannot make the most of tomorrow without first
making the most of today.

Beginning today I will look in the mirror and I will see a person worthy of my respect and admiration.
This capable person looking back at me is someone I enjoy spending time with and someone I would like to get to know better.

Beginning today I will cherish each moment of my life.
I value this gift bestowed upon me in this world and I will unselfishly share this gift with others.
I will use this gift to enhance the lives of others.

Beginning today I will take a moment to step off the beaten path and to revel in the mysteries I encounter.
I will face challenges with courage and determination.
I will overcome what barriers there may be which hinder my quest for growth and self-improvement.

Beginning today I will take life one day at a time, one step at a time.
Discouragement will not be allowed to taint my positive self-image,
my desire to succeed or my capacity to love.

Beginning today I walk with renewed faith in human kindness.
Regardless of what has gone before, I believe there is hope
for a brighter and better future.

Beginning today I will open my mind and my heart.
I will welcome new experiences. I will meet new people.
I will not expect perfection from myself nor anyone else: perfection does not exist in an imperfect world.
But I will applaud the attempt to overcome human foibles.

Beginning today I am responsible for my own happiness and I will do things that make me happy . . .
admire the beautiful wonders of nature, listen to my favorite music,
pet a kitten or a puppy, soak in a bubble bath . . .
pleasure can be found in the most simple of gestures.

Beginning today I will learn something new; I will try something different; I will savor all the various flavors life has to offer.
I will change what I can and the rest I will let go.
I will strive to become the best me I can possibly be.

Beginning today. And every day.


The Law Of Recognition

Tuesday 5:54pm 10Oct06
I spent the bulk of the morning in search of some message to make me feel better.
Been stressed out about my health. Feeling sorry for myself to be only 42 years old and feel like my body is falling apart.
My level of motivation has been pretty low when I know I can be far more enthusiastic about my life and my interests/passions. Been worrying about my finances because of all the cash I've been dropping for my natural health remedies. Thank God I have the new kitten otherwise who knows how deep into the dark place my mind would take me.

After I admitted to my depressive feelings this morning I sat on a mat on the floor and did a meditation and the SA TA NA MA chant that apparently helps to lead you to neutral mind. Both helped to an extent but I still felt that I needed something. I called in late to work and I turned on my television in search of either Creflo Dollar or Joyce Myer, two Christians who I've caught a time or two that have given me some solace or hit on a topical subject that was timely for me. I passed out and had these dreams with all this religious stuff going in and out of my dreams, prayers and blessings and inner circle healing. I woke up to Dr. Mike Murdock (not someone I would normally watch) and found his chat was helpful:

The Law of Recognition
- Everything you want is already in your life merely awaiting your recognition of it. (my health, my writing career, whatever else I dream of or desire)
- Anything uncelebrated will exit your life. The more thankful you are the more good/ increase in your life.
-Recognition of the voice of the Holy Spirit. God never screams, God whispers. (listen to your inner voice, intuition, doubt)
- Recognition of your assignment. Everything created solves a problem. What you love to think about, what you love to talk about is your assignment. You're not assigned to everybody, you're assigned to somebody. Who's tears affect you. Who's success obsesses you?
- Your assignment is always to a place. You don't belong every where. There's a place where your gift will blossom. There is a place where you are celebrated. Somebody's future depends on your presence. Money is waiting for you in your place of assignment.
- You will only succeed when your assignment becomes an obsession.
- Your assignment will require seasons of preparation.
- Recognition of the mate God has approved for you. Think twice before marrying (involving yourself with) someone if they don't have a passion for pleasure, willingness to listen, desire to protect.

So as I look back on my notes I see that my good health is awaiting my recognition of it. My writing discipline is awaiting my recognition of it.
I am thankful for having my own place that I can relax in. I am thankful for all the resources I have at my fingertips. I am thankful for the friends that show me on a regular basis that my presence in their lives means something to them. I acknowledge a whole whack of other things I have to be grateful for.
I choose to listen to my inner voice that warns me against certain men that have entered my life and that asks me to be kinder to some of the others. My inner voice tells me to turn off the television and write instead. Pick up a certain book, meditate, chant, sleep it off, call in late.
I'm not sure who's tears affect me but I know who's success obsesses me... JK Rowling, Jennifer Lopez (her ability to conquer what she sets her sights on except maybe Love), Rick Mercer (Canadian comic, writer, producer who gets to travel across Canada because of his work).

In a nutshell, the whole experience got me to reframe my thoughts. Look at the positives that are always there and get me far enough out of my funk to get my ass up and face the day.


02 October 2006

Because I walk

Monday 7:08pm 2Oct06


Walk this way ...

It is one of the easiest and least stressful forms of exercise you can do. But is walking really enough to get you fit? Only if you do it right, says Peta Bee

Thursday May 25, 2006
The Guardian

Perhaps we are all getting gym-weary, tired of the complexities of Body Pump and Gyrotonics, because it seems that that most basic and natural of activities - walking - is enjoying a resurgence in popularity among those on a quest to get fit. Personal trainers can be spotted power-walking people around London's parks, fitness gurus are churning out books on the subject and even the medical profession gives its renewed backing to a daily walk. This month sees the launch of the National Step-O-Meter programme, a joint initiative by the British Heart Foundation and the Countryside Agency to get us all out walking. Through their GP, practice nurse or health visitor, all NHS patients who sign up to the scheme can borrow a pedometer free of charge.

There is little doubt that, for the previously sedentary, walking is a good idea. In her new book, The GI Walking Diet, the fitness expert Joanna Hall lists the health benefits of walking as everything from reducing the risk of gallstones and strokes to alleviating sleep problems and, of course, helping you to lose weight. Indeed, in recent months, leisurely walking (at 2 miles per hour) was found by researchers at the University of Colorado to be the best formula to help obese people shed pounds and, in a study published in the Annals of Internal Medicine, to prevent peripheral artery disease (which impairs blood flow in the legs and causes leg pain in one-fifth of elderly people). Last week, experts even suggested that walking ability was the most accurate predictor of illness and death in elderly people.
But beyond its body maintenance and disease-fighting effects, will clocking up the requisite daily steps take you to the next step, enabling you to lose weight and get super-fit? Or is it just a bit of a cop-out? Not if you do it properly, according to Hall: "Although taking 10,000 steps a day will improve your health, it may not have a significant effect on your weight loss or fitness unless it is performed in the right way." By that she means incorporating 10-minute bursts of fast walking into your daily plan. To lose weight requires even more effort - you would probably need to tot up at least 16,000 steps a day of walking before the pounds start dropping off, Hall says.

Adding hills or challenging terrain will speed up calorie burning. Walking on softer surfaces, such as mud, sand or grass, automatically means you use more energy than you would walking on concrete or Tarmac; every time your foot hits the ground it creates a small depression so that the leg muscles must work harder to push upwards and forwards for the next step. Walking on cobblestones, or on as rocky ground as you can find, may have even more profound benefits. Last year, physiologists at the Oregon Research Institute found cobblestone-walking, an activity rooted in traditional Chinese medicine, leads to significant reductions in blood pressure and improvements in balance. It is thought that the uneven surfaces may stimulate acupressure points on the soles of the feet, thereby regulating blood pressure. Because it is challenging, it will also burn more calories.

For even faster weight loss results, though, you could always try Nordic walking (or urban trekking as it is known in the US), an activity that despite looking naff (the idea is to hike through the urban jungle with two ski poles), does have proven benefits. Professor John Pocari, an exercise physiologist at the University of Wisconsin, says using walking poles forces people to pick up their pace and work harder without realising it.

"Just the fact that you are using your arms through a greater range of motion than normal means you are increasing calorie expenditure," Pocari says. On average, a person who walks three miles in a workout will burn 100 calories per mile - add poles and they can burn an additional 20%, says Pocari. Participants in his studies were also found to increase their upper-body strength by 40% and, compared with running, he estimates walking with the poles or without reduces impact on vulnerable hips, ankles and knees by 26%.

There is growing evidence that by striding out more often you will improve your mental health too. At the University of Illinois, researchers compared the effects of a walking programme with a toning and stretching regimen in elderly subjects and found that walkers performed far better in tests of mental agility. Professor Arthur Kraemer, who led the study, said walking, like other forms of aerobic exercise, increases oxygen supplies and blood flow to the brain, helping it to stay more alert and work more efficiently. Even if a 20-minute power walk at lunchtime is all you manage, it could be comparable to a course of psychotherapy after six weeks, found psychologists at the University of Illinois.

Some even claim that walking is on a parallel with yoga in its ability to unite body and mind. Rebecca Gorrell, director of movement therapy at Canyon Ranch spa, the celebrity bolthole in Arizona, believes taking a power-walk is akin to meditation. She encourages those weary of publicity and life to walk away their worries on regular hikes in the surrounding countryside. "The idea is that you empty your mind of thoughts, to concentrate on the present, not what happened yesterday or what might happen tomorrow, when you walk," says Gorrell. "Don't think about how hard you are working, but shift your thoughts to your breathing. Inhale deeply through your nose and exhale through your mouth."

While it may reunite you with your inner self, the real beauty of walking is its simplicity and convenience. "Nobody is intimidated by the idea of it," says Lorna Malcolm, the Reebok master trainer. "Once you have got somebody out walking, you can start to push them to a new level by getting them to walk faster or further." And it is a habit that sticks. A survey by the Countryside Agency as part of its Walking for Health initiative found that half of those given a pedometer still used them two years later and 93% of subjects were walking greater distances as a result.

Morning Prayers 3

Monday 6:05pm 2Oct06

It's been a long long time since I posted a prayer. Since July actually! I keep meaning to and then I get sidetracked...

The Silent Prayer
From Tobias as channeled by Geoffrey Hoppe:

In my heart, I accept my perfect Being.
I accept that the joy that I have intended is already in my life.
I accept that love I have prayed for is already within me.
I accept that the peace I have asked for is already my reality.
I accept that the abundance I have sought already fills my life.

In my truth, I accept my perfect Being.
I take responsibility for my own creations,
And all things that are within my life.
I acknowledge the power of Spirit that is within me,
And know that all things are as they should be.

In my wisdom, I accept my perfect Being.
My lessons have been carefully chosen by my Self,
And now I walk through them in full experience.
My path takes me on a sacred journey with divine purpose.
My experiences become part of All That Is.

In my knowingness, I accept my perfect Being.
In this moment, I sit in my golden chair
And know that I Am an angel of light.
I look upon the golden tray - the gift of Spirit -
And know that all of my desires already have been fulfilled.

In love for my Self, I accept my perfect Being.
I cast no judgment or burdens upon my Self.
I accept that everything in my past was given in love.
I accept that everything in this moment comes from love.
I accept that everything in my future will result in greater love.

In my Being, I accept my perfection.
And so it is.

Found at Crimson Circle http://www.crimsoncouncil.com/silentprayer.htm


Daily Practice for a Positive Attitude

Monday 5:54pm 2Oct06

I never watched Once and Again, the TV drama when it was on because I had the feeling that it was a tear jerker of a show and since I cry at the drop of a hat I didn't want to put myself through that. Somehow now that it's on the W network on Sunday mornings, I've been watching it. Of course I've spent many a Sunday morn balling my eyes out. I'm such a suck!

Yesterdays episode dealt with depression. The mother whose ex husband remarried has been depressed because her kids spend more time with the ex husband in their new blended family than they do with her. One of the scenes shows her at her psychiatrists office in session and he tells her to write up a daily list of:

3 things you are looking forward to
3 things you love
3 things you want.

I had to write that down and now I have to share it...


26 September 2006

Topsy Turvy or Commitment

Tuesday 5:11pm 26Sept06
When the world is Topsy turvy an artist should still do their art, a writer should still write. Especially then.

When my mother died in 1996, through the worst part of my grief and grieving process, I kept a journal. I started from the beginning, when I'd woken up that morning and wasn't feeling well. Felt like I could throw up, maybe I could have a fever, maybe I was coming down with a cold. I didn't know what was wrong except that I wasn't feeling right. Lying in bed, trying to decide how I could call in sick at the Science Centre knowing full well that it was the opening day for the Omnimax theatre and no one could call in sick, my phone rang. My call display said Mom and her phone number. And in my childish, I feel sick voice, I said, "it's mommy!" before i answered the phone with a Hello.

A strange man's voice asked if I was Shelley and told me that he was Dave's brother (my mom's boyfriend) and told me he had some bad news. I kept thinking, "just tell me what hospital she's in."
Instead he told me that she was dead. No one in my family had enough guts to make the call so I had to hear it from a complete stranger. Needless to say I had the reason to call in sick at the Science Centre. I wasn't sick, my mother was dead.

My mother was dead.

I've been reading the War of Art and the differences between a professional and an amateur. And surprisingly enough it's not about the money. It's not about being published or how many times you've been published. It's about whether you show up every day come rain or shine, fever or happiness, falling in love or getting fired. No matter what's going on, it's showing up to do what you have to do.

So I made the commitment last week, that I would be an apprentice first. The apprenticeship is my ten year goal. No thoughts of publication but to honestly, wholeheartedly learn my craft, practicing, reading, studying. And in ten years time work toward the next goal - something tangible. The thing about commitment is sometimes that commitment is going to be tested. It's almost as if the cosmos or God or something is asking is this a true commitment? Prove it!

We were never guaranteed Happiness. We were never guaranteed success. We were never guaranteed that anything would be easy. The only thing we're pretty much guaranteed is work, pain and death. Today there was that noticeable balance. That balance between the yucky stuff that stressed me out that my obsessive thinking focused on for far too long and then there was the magical appearances by three men that either snapped me out of it, made me feel warm and fuzzy or just plain made me laugh. It's almost as if God was asking me, "so which one are you going to choose to focus on? Will you focus on the diabolical or the inspirational?"

And in my writing I have to ask, "what do I want to focus on? Will I focus on the stress, my fatigue and the pain or will I focus on what it is I really want to do?" Knowing full well that I'll have to ask the same question again tomorrow.

Ant and I had lunch again today and it was kind of funny because we were both in similar types of moods. I'm discovering that we are actually similar types of people. Except he's with a more calmer edge than I am. We were in similar types of moods, partially stressed, wanting to be present to each other, for each other.
He said, "I'm the listening Ant today, I'm not the talking Ant."
And I said, "As am I. I don't want to rant. I've ranted enough about this. Besides we don't spend nearly enough time together that I'm going to waste it on ranting. I just want to laugh."

And we did the laugh dance.

He cracked a comment, I laughed. I cracked a comment to outdo his comment and so it went for our whole lunch.
We got away from serious and diabolical and stressful and made a connection.

Now, I'm going to go and work on my commitment.


21 September 2006

The General

Thursday 6:45pm 21Sept06

I got an email today from the General. He is the husband of a woman that I became friends with when I worked for the Life Coach. The General is an older man (at least half a dozen years older than me) with a child's heart. His wife had told me about his dreams and if they worked they'd be rich. I admired the General because he often puts on this Calvary costume and actually goes out in the streets with it on. When he's in costume, he is the General.

How many adults do you know that have the guts, the self assuredness and whatever else they'd need to do that?

The General is the most enthusiastic person I've ever met. He wholeheartedly believes in his dreams. He knows that it's just a matter of time before his dreams become reality.

In his email he told me that he and his wife are moving out to LA. His dream has hit pay dirt. Because of it, they will also be setting up a development company for Canadian talent and entrepreneurs.

You've gotta believe and keep doing whatever it takes to get out there. That's a message to me.


15 September 2006


Friday 10:43pm 15Sept06

I went and saw Beyonce perform at Dundas Square this evening. She sounded excellent, she looked amazing and the main thing that struck me was how inspiring she is. When you think about it, she's 25 years old and look at her. She's got some real talent and all that kept reverberating in my mind was, "That's the result of hard work."

Imagine what you would do if you knew at the end of some real hard work for several years without stopping or giving up how accomplished we could all be. I'm going to think about that for myself for a long while.


12 September 2006

Personal Arthritis Regime update

Tuesday 6:12pm 12Sept06

It's about time to stock up on all the concoctions that I've been using. I've reached the tail end of both the Vital Greens and the Nutri Flex. I'll continue with those but won't be doing the black radish juice again, I think. It's just so vile! I'm going to look for tinctures of other herbs like Black Cohosh instead.

I'm thinking about doing away with the raw potato juice and just keep up with the raw beet juice and the raw cabbage juice. Since night shade vegetables are on my don't have list and a potato is a night shade albeit we normally eat it cooked, I just want to ax that out and see how that goes.
Beets are such a great flush that probably just doing those would be great and the cabbage doesn't hurt. I had the brain wave to add vegetable stock (home made of course) to my beet and cabbage juice. It makes a big difference. Beet juice is so strong and earthy (read smells and tastes like dirt) that it's not always the easiest for me to get down when you think that I don't even like beets.

While reading up on the Liver cleanse instructions there was mention made to doing it for three months before taking a break from it. So I'll be doing that. That'll bring me close to the end of the year. I'll revisit the liver cleanse again in January or February. I'm contemplating doing a fall cleanse around the 23rd when the season changes. Probably my tried and trusted Sambu cleanse.

I feel like my system is working more like clock work so there have definitely been improvements to my overall well-being.
My foot pain is still pretty regular but not the excruciating crippling pain that I was suffering from that ultimately got me to find out exactly what was wrong and onto this eventual regime. So that's a plus. It's like my feet sometimes need to warm up before I can use them, if that makes sense.

I figure that it will take a few years before I feel substantial healing since this pain has been building for more than 12 years. I'm fine with that. I'd love it if it were totally gone once and for all but that's the attitude that stops us from following through on a program. By the time I reach substantial healing I'm sure I will forget what it was like to eat all the stuff that I ate with no concern about how it might affect my body. It will be so long out of my system that I won't miss it. Imagine that!

I'm noticing since the weather got cooler that I'm freezing so I need to find ways to add warmth to my day. More soups and warming spices like cayenne pepper and ginger. I need to shift my eating a bit by starting with the more warming foods and drinking more of the juices later on in the day. Any one that knows me knows that I wear layers in the summer, so I'm a pretty large cold wimp. I think I'm already wearing way too many layers given it's barely the Fall and what the heck will I have left to put on in the winter?

I still need to focus more on the external treatments for my feet like the castor oil packs and the foot soaks. I've been pretty bad about that. The Castor Oil is damn messy. And I have to sit still long enough for the foot soaks. Plus I'd like to start getting regular reflexology massages. But the cashish can only take so much , I have to save a little money and pay those regular bills too. sigh!

So in short, Better energy level, overall system improvements (regular elimination), lost 12 lbs so far, less of the excruciating pain, clear expectation that this will take a few years, and need to rearrange when I eat what I do eat to give me more warmth. Either that or I'll need to wear plug in heating clothes or something. Could you imagine? Has anyone invented that yet?


11 September 2006

Undead Television Report - 11Sept06

Monday 8:06pm 11Sept06

Last week, I did this report on the wrong day, it's supposed to be Mondays. I've been a lucky lady in that I only had the two shows or so I said, not realizing that there's a couple more.

Okay so I've been taping Rescue Me and Weeds from Showcase. I've also been taping Prison Break and Vanished off Global. I only added Vanished because it's on after Prison Break. Tonight season two of the Closer starts and can I just say I love Kyra Sedgewick so much in this role it's pathetic? She's almost like a female Columbo with sex appeal.

I didn't watch last week's episode of Prison Break nor Vanished and well, it's Monday again so that'll be 4 hours that I'll have to find somewhere. Oh Yes, ha ha, Six Feet Under started last night. Um, and Inside the Actor's Studio started its new season too yesterday. It was Tim Allen, I taped it.

I still have about ten vids of shows to watch from last season! Out of control. I just recently saw the season finale of American Idol off one of the tapes. Yes, it's that bad. So there is absolutely no reason for me to watch television unless it's on tape. This weekend I flipped around lazily as I nodded back off, not bothering to slip in one of those tapes. So for the most part I'm improved. I'm not watching the television aimlessly night in and night out like I used to. I want to keep reporting in on a weekly basis more for myself than for any one who might read this. The fall season has barely begun and I know how easy it can be to fall off the wagon.

Plus there are still some shows that haven't started yet that I have to watch like: The Gilmore Girls, Grey's Anatomy, Nip/Tuck, The L Word, Family Guy.

The only new shows I may pick up are Justice (because I like the replay of the murder in the end that shows the audience if the person was innocent or guilty) and Vanished (because I'm already taping it.)

And that's it okay? Don't tell me about some show you're watching that's excellent until after the season is over. Don't say, "Shelley it's such great writing." If Quentin Tarantino is going to direct every episode of CSI this year, don't let me know (that's the only reason why I'd watch). Pretend you know nothing about my television confessions unless we're talking about shows I already watch.

And if you think I'm pathetic, which I am ...

Hmm, I don't know if Bravo is planning on bringing back new episodes of The Writing Life ( the only show I should be watching!)


10 September 2006

Accept Who You Are

Sunday 5:55pm 10Sept06

I watched the movie, Jersey Girl, yesterday and the female love interest said to Ben Affleck's character, "Forget what you thought you were and accept who you are."

Sometimes it's hard to get over what you thought you were going to be. When I look at my life, I haven't accomplished most of the things I thought I would 20 years ago. I thought I'd be a successful full-time writer. I thought I'd find the right person by the time I hit 35 years old and we'd marry and have children. We would probably have some struggles but for the most part we'd live a charmed life. I thought I'd be rich and travel and own land. I thought, I thought, I thought ...

I've lived in the same apartment for 17 years. Many people have criticized this apartment because they say, I should live some where better. I live like a College student. Although I do write everyday, I'm still not published. I'll probably never marry. And there's more...

But in accepting who I am I see that I love having my own place, my sanctuary. I don't need to live in opulence to feel happy. There have been artists with far superior talent to mine who never realized their artistic dreams and they still produced. I value love far more than people who have to have a relationship. I've learned much more through the hardships rather than if I'd received everything I wanted on the schedule that I'd planned. Given my beginnings, it's any wonder that I'm here at all and yet I am. I never fully give up when things go wrong, I just start all over again. And like an inventor, I see that my mistakes and failures are steps toward learning how to live and enjoy my life each day instead of some future date.

It may not sound like much but it works for me.


Inspirational Article - Reprint

TIPS for Extraordinary Living! Written & Published by Philip E. Humbert, PhD

Inch by Inch, Anything's a Cinch

On a daily basis, most of us wish we could get "just a few more things done." We have this sense that other people are more productive, more focused, more energetic or whatever, and somehow they manage to squeeze more into their 24-hour day than we do.

Personally, I don't think they really do. In fact, I've argued for years that highly successful people tend to do LESS, rather than more. The key is that they do the RIGHT things while other (less successful) people run around doing too many things, including too many unimportant things. This week, I want to talk about three critical steps that can help you become vastly more productive and, as a result, vastly more successful. Sound good? Here we go:

1. De-Clutter Your Life. Our lives tend to be too busy, too stressed and too confusing. To become more successful you must solve this problem. It may be hard or difficult, but there really is no other choice.

If you doubt me on this, take a look at any high achieving, highly successful person of your own choosing. Pick a friend or relative who has built a successful business or quickly moved up the corporate ladder. I think you'll find a variety of "keys" to their success, but one thing you will NOT find is chaos in their lives. I suspect you'll notice they tend to be well-groomed and well-dressed. They tend to be punctual, relaxed, calm and clear in their communications. Typically (though not always) they keep a clean desk, office, and personal environment.

Success and confusion simply do not go together. To achieve more, simplify your life. Resolve personal conflicts, resign from some committees or personal commitments. Take time to de-clutter your desk, office and your life.

2. Daily Discipline. Discipline has a gotten a bad rap, and I often prefer the term "self-direction," but whatever you call it, there is no success without the ability to control your personal impulses. In a world of increasing temptations and distractions, high achievers know what they want to accomplish and they have the ability to stay "on task."

Success people quickly develop a system for planning their days, writing down their top priorities, and delaying (or ignoring) the thousand and one daily temptations to do "something else." They know the "tyranny of the urgent" is very real. The ringing telephone, the "brief" conversations in the hall, that quick errand or lunch with a friend all threaten to interrupt us, and once our productivity and "flow" are interrupted, getting back on task can be difficult.

High achievers work from a schedule. They review their goals and priorities every morning, re-commit to achieving them, and have an attitude of self-discipline about moving forward. So should you.

3. Trust the Magic of Small Steps. Finally, high achievers understand a strange paradox in life, that often small steps can achieve better and longer-lasting results than giant leaps. They understand the fable of the "tortoise and the hare." They know that too often, "haste makes waste." In their eagerness to get things done, they know the value of small steps.

Highly success people know that often the quickest way to wealth is a slow, steady routine of regular savings and investment. They know that building a business requires that each step be taken with care and precision, so they take time to plan, think, and consider their options. They know that "fools rush in where angels fear to tread" and that "Rome wasn't built in a day."

One of my favorite examples is that health and fitness cannot be obtained by one dramatic work-out that leaves us stiff and sore the next morning. Rather, fitness is the result of work-outs that are challenging, fun, effective and repeated daily.

Achieving more in life is actually not "hard." It does, however, require an understanding of basic principles and the discipline to put them into practice. There are lots of tips and tricks that can be useful, but the basics never change. De-clutter your life so you can focus on "first things." Practice personal self-discipline to can take control of your own life. And finally, master the paradox of running life's marathon one small step at a time.

To SUBSCRIBE to TIPS for Extraordinary Living!:
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Playful Weekend

Sunday 1:31 pm 10Sept06

I've been enjoying a playful weekend and play sometimes leads to blogging absenteeism. But every body needs a break from the norm, don't they?

I was out enjoying time with three beautiful men. Yes Ladies, sometimes this girl has all the luck! Not too often that I'd get a big head about it but anyway...

My luck began two minutes before my lunch break on Friday when I answered my work phone only because I recognized the phone number and with the full intention of giving the man on the other side a hard time.
"Do you want to meet me in the lobby of the Hotel?" He said teasingly.
"For lunch or for an afternoon delight?" Sometimes I just can't hold back my smart mouth. It's just my character.

Anyhow I had lunch with Ant, which is a perfect nickname for a man who is 6'7". Mustn't have a big nickname when you're a big man. We had some good laughs and even better, "get to know you," discussions.
I, as usual, know so much more personal info about Ant then he knows about me. He was the inspiration of the themes this weekend. (I've mentioned before that sometimes there seems to be themes to my weekends). The themes this weekend were: Making the time; The people you surround yourself with; and doing what you always wanted to do.

What I love about my time shared with Ant is that he really likes my mind and how I think about things. He shows me his appreciation for me and the time we spend together. He said, "I had to get together with you and I kept telling myself, 'make the time, Ant, make the time.'"
I was thrilled that he made the time. We've made plans of things to do together outside of just lunch. Things that I don't normally do. One of our inside reminders to each other is about focusing on your September eleventh person.

During the horror of September 11th, 2001, one of the things that hit me the most was about the people who knew that they were going to die and the last phone call they'd made. Ever since then I've asked myself, "If I lived a September 11th, who would I call to say good bye to and give my last words of love?"
That's an important person.

The first time Ant and I ever had lunch together, in the midst of a very serious discussion of confusing feelings and the like, I'd asked him, who is your September eleventh person. He hadn't hesitated in his answer.

On Friday, in response to his comment about making the time, I said that since my mother died I was always focused on making the time for people that I care about. Why waste time on people who don't make you feel good about yourself, people who only want to hang out with you because they are bored, people who tell you in subtle ways that they don't appreciate you.

It's nice having that surprise date out of the blue, heck, I was going to drink beet juice for lunch and instead I had a great lunch that Ant kept saying, "I feel like I haven't spent enough money on you," about it. I had a great visit with a man that knows how to make a woman feel good about herself by focusing on what is great about her, we made future plans. And hugging a man of 6'7"? Craazy! You have to stand on your tippee toes and stretch your arms real high!

Friday night was my lovely fish boy, "Got any twos?"
It was a beautiful balmy evening and the beer tasted right and he's just so damn beautiful to look at that just looking at him is enough. We had the discussions of the people you surround yourself with, doing what you want to do and making the time. Told you it was the theme. Our relationship gets deeper with each moment we get to spend together. I hooked him up (he's an actor) with my lovely director friend (who is way more deep than I could hope to be) more than a year ago and they have started doing some work together. He praises her for her easy way of dealing with talent and she praises him for being so open to doing what she puts out there in her classes. He and I made plans for this week and for an annual outing that we enjoyed together this summer. That yearly outing will be our thing.

Saturday was my day with Ado. We work together and on his days off he does volunteer work at the Filipino Centre with his wife. There was a street festival and I went to spend the day getting some culture and having a good laughing time. I know I mean something to him because of the way he treats me but something bigger happened. Every time he'd introduce me to someone from the centre they'd say, "Oh yes, I've heard your name before."

When your reputation precedes you before you meet new people, it's heart warming.

My best friend in Montreal told me once about how I could tell a man really cared about me. He said something along the lines that he'll want to do things for me, he'll want to spend time with me. It won't be an obligation, he'll do it because he wants to do it. I'd like to add that the same thing goes with your friends.

Make the time, pay attention to the people you surround yourself with and do what you really want to do.

And think about it, who is your September eleventh person?


07 September 2006

Undead Television Report

Thursday 7:33pm 7Sept06

I realize that I haven't done an undead television report since I got my television back up and running. I'm actually doing well, mind you the fall season hasn't started yet. The only new shows that I watch are Rescue Me and Weeds both on Showcase. I've been taping the shows and watching them later so I can fast forward through the commercials.

I thought last season for Rescue Me was good but this season is out of control. Dennis Leary must be worried that they won't get renewed so he's getting everything in there and it's only been three episodes. Each episode has had me throwing my hand up to my mouth in complete shock. "No he didn't!"

Unbelievable. If all the shows are this good this season, I'm in trouble.


06 September 2006

Sabotage Depression - Fear

Wednesday 8:55pm 6Sept06

It was a good timing sort of day. That good timing turned into unexpected enjoyment. When I told my friend about it, I told her in an offhand way as a response to her question. I wasn't going to say anything because somehow I couldn't express the joy and fun that I'd felt. I was almost scared to jinx it. She talked about how great it was for me and it was proof of what I've hoped for. Proof of a future grand gesture I've been silently asking for.

It's funny how I get scared of good things in my life. I want the good but then I'm scared that I'm being teased and the floor is going to fall out from under me. It's as if I can't trust and believe that the good is going to happen for me. It's about my thinking, I know that. It's the same kind of thinking that has caused my depression in the past.

After my lunch time enjoyment, I spent the rest of the day trying not to relive what had happened. I tried not to think about it too strongly. I tried to push it away as if it wasn't a big thing even though it had been to me. In fact during the enjoyable incident I'd slowed down overwhelmed with doubts. "What am I doing here? How could I possibly be enough?"

But I want to trust and believe. If I keep approaching everything with an overwhelming fear how can I expect to have what I want?

I allowed myself to think about what could go wrong... I could get hurt. Then I allowed myself to think about all the things that could be right if I allowed them to be. If I allowed everything to run it's natural course. I also allowed myself to see that I have all the power in my own life. I can decide what I want and follow up if what I want is a part of the package.

Things may or may not work out for me. Those are the choices that we all have. But with a depressive angle I can sabotage what I want and walk away telling myself, "see, I knew this would happen."

Today, at least, I found a way to sabotage my possible depression.


05 September 2006

Focus on your goals

Tuesday 7:44pm 5Sept06

I was trolling around on the internet last night. Just looking for I don't know what, inspiration possibly. I found this oracle that you run your mouse over until the cursor turns into a hand. The message was: Direct your energy toward reaching your goals instead of wasting it in anger or resentment.

It felt appropriate for me. Some times I get so focused on the garbage in life and forget to replace my thoughts with the better stuff. When I worked in day care, the majority of my kids swore. They were 10 years old and up. I told them that I didn't want to hear them swear anymore because there was no need for a 10 year old to be using that kind of language. I wanted them to create new words or new ways of swearing. So whenever I got frustrated in front of them I'd say, "Oh rickin rackin schnicken schnacken." It was from a dog in a cartoon that always got into car accidents. Penelope Pitstop was one of the characters. I can't remember the name of the cartoon.
That soon became the new way to swear in the room. It became easy for them to not swear because they had something to replace it with.

Directing my energy toward reaching my goals is exactly the kind of replacement I need. There used to be a time when I worked in retail that I couldn't get frustrated by rude customers or gossipy childish co-workers because I always had the thought foremost in my mind that my purpose is to write. I lost that focus but I'm slowly getting it back again.

Focus on one thing. Focus on a character. Focus on a page of my novel. Whatever it takes to get me through and use my energy wisely.

off to work on that goal...

29 August 2006

Nope and a Big Yes.

Tuesday 8:51pm 29Aug06

I blogged about not being a therapist a while back. It was about feeling frustrated that some of my friends had forgotten about me and moved on with newer friends. It was about those same friends that call me in crisis because they know I always have a listening ear and great insights about how to deal.

I'd been feeling hurt about being somewhat deserted. I was upset that friends I'd worked with for years were treating me with an out of sight, out of mind attitude. But I see that there is pain before change. I see that I'm not obligated to say yes to things just because I want to be a good friend. The gem is that I have the time to write that I've been begging for. Plus the newer people in my life don't seem to see me as just a giant ear at their disposal. Not that the old friends are totally out of my life, nor would I want that with most of them, just that there is more of a balance and I'm more able to say no to activities I don't want to participate in.

Also, had it not been for that feeling of desertion, it would have been so much harder to be disciplined about doing this whole being healthy in order to manage my arthritis thing that I've been doing for close to three weeks now. Every thing does have a purpose, it seems.

I caught the tail end of an interview with Canadian Comedian Sean Cullen and after being asked what other talent he liked to have he discussed how he'd worked in a show with all these amazing dancers and how they all wanted to be either singers or actors or something other than what they were. He said, "Enjoy the talent you have and really make it amazing."

That inspired me. I've been blessed with a lot of superficial talent - I can sing, draw, dance and write. If the truth be known I would love to be able to sing like Gladys Knight. To me, her strong, rich, vibrant voice is the voice that I'd want to emulate. Well, I don't sing that well. But it hasn't been my focus. I'm really too much of a chicken to stand up in front of people and sing. Writing is my gig.

Sean's comment makes me want to make my writing talent really amazing. And the singing? I can still do that for mere enjoyment in my living room with the tunes cranking until my next door neighbour knocks on my door asking me to turn it down a little.


27 August 2006


Sunday 10:25pm 27Aug06

Went to weigh myself today. As I don't have a scale at home, I went to the pool. I've lost 10lbs. I want to lose 30lbs in total. It will happen.

I ended up swimming for a half hour since I was at the pool and I had my bathing suit with me. I carried some juice with me for my juice fast. Overall my juice fast went okay. I just didn't drink enough juice but I'll carry a boatload of juice with me tomorrow with my salad for lunch and make up for my wishy washyness.

I decided to walk after my swim and ended up down at Harbourfront to see my girlfriend. I ran into CBC radios Jowi (same as Joey) Taylor, whom I love. When we worked together ten years ago, he was above me and really didn't have to pay me any attention. He saw me working outside in the stifling heat and said, "You need a chair. You don't have a chair," and came back with one of those movie directors chairs for me. I've loved him ever since.

Well, anyway, he was at Harbourfront with a Six String Nation guitar that is made of pieces from all over Canada with pieces of wood from such celebrities as Pierre Trudeau (his canoe paddle) and Wayne Gretzky (piece of his hockey stick) and Maurice "Rocket" Richard (Gold from his Stanley Cup Ring of 1955-56). Any way Jowi had a whole thing set up where you could have your picture taken with the guitar. He dragged me to have my picture taken with it. Believe it or not, I'm quite camera shy but if Jowi asks, well, I don't say yes I just do it. So at some point all the pictures that were taken will be on the website... Six String Nation
I even got a six string guitar pick for my troubles. Very cool!

While waiting to have my picture taken, Jowi asked me if I played guitar and I said no. He said he didn't either but wished he could. Yeah, I said, it takes discipline. Jowi looked at me and smiled and then we got into this big rant about our shared lack of discipline. I love Jowi!

While swimming I had an interesting incident. It's funny because I always think I'm in peoples way or I'm lame. It's automatic. When I swim, I like to play around and swim at the bottom of the pool until my breath runs out. I push myself up from the swimming pool floor with my feet to grab some air and then I zoom back down to the bottom of the pool. I do it because I like to be out of the way of the real swimmers that do their disciplined laps and because I like to test how long I can stay under without coming up for air. I think I'm lame because I don't do the proper laps like 'normal' swimmers. But once I get past feeling lame and self-conscious that all the other swimmers think I'm lame I have fun.

One of the swimmers caught me at the edge of the pool and said, "Can you teach me how to do that?"
"Swimming at the bottom of the pool. I can't swim at the bottom of the pool, I always float up to the top."

I was stunned. Here I think I'm lame and some one thinks what I do is better than just swimming laps. sigh! I don't know why I always think I'm so lame. I've got to stop doing that to myself and relax a little.

Back at Harbourfront, I waited for my girlfriend to finish work and we went for a beer. Well, she had the beer and I (I'm very proud to say) drank Cranberry juice and a glass of water. I love beer. I love more types of beer than I don't. I didn't even bat an eye or hem and haw about not ordering beer. Just knew I couldn't so I didn't. Every once in awhile I do have some discipline.